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Comments

Tammy

Live out loud. You go girl. :)

Alana

Haters gonna hate. Exactly! The sure sign of someone unhappy in their own life is that they are so willing to cut down other people.

cp

oh Carmen, you are WONDERFUL!

Cheryl

Follow your own inner beat. Ignore the Matildas of the world. She's disposable and forgetable.

Laura

Some people... Ya know, hubby and I went to Vegas several years ago. Now, I don't live that far from Vegas; about 5 hours. But I'd never been there. I'm from a very small city, and grew up in a REALLY small town. So as hubby and I were driving down "the Strip" in Vegas, I was like a child. I was all "ooooh!! Look!! A pyramid!! Ooooh, Look at the fountains!!!..." And so forth. Hubby laughed and said "I love traveling with you. You just know how to enjoy things." And those of us with that talent, to find the fun and coolness in stuff, have no need to stoop down to that miserable, sad, bitter woman's level. You were misunderstood by someone so low, she couldn't see you, really. Sad indeed.

Kristen Kirk

So sorry to hear this happened to you. Hope she got the message when you walked away. Here you are being all supportive to her and she turns on you. I'm working hard to follow a friend's advice on how to respond to rude comments: Look confused instead of hurt (so hard to do!) and say: "Why would you say that to me?" It works for her but I'm scared they'll say something like "well, because it's true" and I'll cry hard.

Megan

I guess I'm similar to your husband — my reaction was also that it had to have been a joke, albeit an inappropriate one, but surely nobody is THAT ballsy or rude that they'd say something like that seriously, right? I'm also the queen of sticking my foot in my mouth, though not with strangers.

It was pretty over-the-top. She's completely socially clueless, as well as just plain wrong. How could you draw any conclusions about somebody you'd only talked to for five seconds?

Sonja Holzman

Carmen, I have tears in my eyes reading this, real tears. I have been in your shoes SO many times. People don't get me. Why? Because I choose to be me, not some version of me that is socially acceptable all the time. I laugh loudly, I say what I think, I wear what I want. But never at someone else's expense. Put that bitch's face mentally on a punching bag and work it out, sister! The problem is SO her and not you and I know you know that! And for goodness sakes, try to avoid her for the rest of your trip!! Lots of love coming your way from me.

Nicki

How incredibly rude of her. Speaking as someone who runs, skips, trips, rolls over and then sashays to the beat of her own drummer, just keep on being you. I know it's hard not to take to heart what people say, but at the end of the day you know yourself best and it only matters what you think and what the people closest to you and that you love think about you.

Also I really admire your restraint in not calling her out. It is so hard not to say something back.

lisa

Pray for her--hard!-whenever you think of her-and you will quickly forget her rudeness. I promise. I pray for God to bless those that hurt me, and to forgive them and me. Soon I can't even remember the details of what they said.

addy

Live Out Loud! Haters can F**K off!!

Hayes

Nathan and I are sarcastic and witty and "rude." Matilda is a, well, a word I won't type because it is not nice.

Console yourself that Frank is indeed married to you, and has been for 22 years. That you have SIX amazing, talented, beautiful, loved children together, as well as Frank's other children that you love as well, and that Frank CHOSE to be married to you, and still does.

I would NOT want to be married to or friends with or even in the general vicinity of Matilda. It is ok to think things about others, but you shut up about it, at least until they are out of the room!

SassyMarie

I have been struggling alot over the last two months. My life. My issues.

In searching for those little moments that keep me going, I so enjoy seeing one of your posts come across my blog reader. I enjoy reading about your fun, your challenges, your life.

Please know that there are people out there, who you don't know (and because of the feeders, have no exposure to you), who like you just the way you are. Yes, I think you're pretty awesome.

Haters go away. :)

Mariah

I'm shocked. I really am. I've been running around the internet (and around town in my car) a lot lately for various errands and busyness, and haven't been here in several days, so I had to click on the link to your first "Matilda" post to find out the background. What the heck??? I don't think I'm sheltered. I've lived in three different countries and traveled to many more around the world and the nature of our life work as a married couple involves working with people from all walks of life, (my husband is pastor), and I have to say that with all my "people experience" I have almost never met anyone so completely rude. A comment like that can only stem from her own insecurity and jealousy. Just for the record, I love being around people like you who "live out loud," because they inspire me to live that way...something I think everyone, especially the uptight Matildas of this world, should cultivate to some degree or another because life is so much fun! Sheesh. I'm still shocked.

Karianna

Yeah, I hate that it takes many more compliments to wipe away a criticism. I'm much thinner-skinned than I should be, although I'm working hard to focus on the positive!

Of COURSE you are an amazing person. I could write oodles about how inspiring you are in different facets of life. Matilda is definitely one of those folks that knows how to cut where it hurts, but you know it just shows her own insecurities that she has a knife at the ready.

WebSavvyMom

-->I'm told I talk too much. That's mostly true but I do ask a lot of questions and really listen to the answers. It's why I retain small details about everyone I've ever met for Years.

(It's kind of on the freaky side.)

Brandy

You GO, Carmen! Do your thing! I wish I were more like you. I have always been conscious of how I appear to others, but the older I get the less I seem to care about making everyone else happy and am working on making me happy. At least part of the time. :)

Nelson's Mama

I LOVE Jon Acuff and I thought this post was so timely...

http://www.jonacuff.com/blog/2-questions-that-make-99-of-all-haters-invisible/

I'd do well to take this to heart as well.

Your last two posts have hit home for me too. Too long for me to explain here, but I've had a male Matilda in my life the last week or so and it's someone that I really care about and need to interact with on a social and business basis.

beth

Wow. She really is just WRETCHED, isn't she?

Ouida Gabriel

I hope Matilda is reading this and realizes that you could have laid her out flat. Of course that makes you the better person in this situation.

Who cares what others think? If you are doing right by God then all else does not matter.

I don't think I would have been able to not retaliate though. I am teaching myself the art of not addressing issues if I don't need to. Your did the right thing this time. However if it happens again then I say let loose on her and consequences be damned.

Sometimes people have to be put in their place.

Ouida Gabriel

liz

You know what Matilda is? She's a troll.

Holly

But....men are NOT stupid. That was rude too, wasn't it?

Kira

Oh dear, Holly. Is it polite to correct people who did not ask for your input? Because THAT seems rude to me. Silly me.

Beth a.

Oooh....is Holly really "matilda"?

Holly

I am really not talking to either of you, I am simply asking Carmen if her remark about "stupid men" was any more called for than Matilda's comment? As a wife of one man, and the mom of 8 boys, I simply do not like that comment. While Matilda may have been wrong for complaining about her husband loudly in public, that's the reason she asked Carmen's husband how he could live with her.... knowing she thought HE was stupid, simply by being a man. They were both rude.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as the Programs Manager for BlogHer, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a minor in BS studies.