Mom to the Screaming Masses: Booty Shorts in the Rain Forest

Pictures or it didn't happen.

It's a common refrain 'round here.

I'm sure you know what it means, but if not - I don't believe what you are telling me unless I see it with my own eyes.

When we were in Puerto Rico (yes, I'm still talking about this trip, what can I say, a LOT of stuff happened on it!) we were given the opportunity to choose from two tours. We didn't have to take either - we could have stayed at the hotel and hung out by the pool - which was my choice. But the husband and I, we vacay differently.

In his opinion, rest is for the weak and the dead. On vacay, you see everything everywhere that you possibly can. I go away to sleep. And to lay by the pool. And sleep some more.

So on Friday, we were given the choice of a tour of the Rainforest or the Bacardi Rum factory. After being told that we can sleep later, We are YOUNG, let's have an ADVENTURE - I reluctantly chose the rum tour. I'm not a rum drinker, it gives me the headaches - but I liked the people who were on the rum tour and thought it'd be fun.

I'm always about the fun.

The husband really wanted the rainforest, and so rainforest it was.

There was only one problem. I had no shorts to wear. I had jeans, and so I put them on with a t shirt and went downstairs, where I was met by my new friend.

All these FRIENDS. I sound like I'm in grammar school.

We met a couple on the trip and I bonded with them immediately. They were delightful - the very best part of the trip for me. Every part of the trip that is a good memory involves these two people, and we had TONS of fun. The woman saw my jeans and shook her head.

"You can't wear those!" she exclaimed. "You'll die of heat!" I explained that I had no shorts, and she shook her head. "We are about the same size, so come up to my room and I'll loan you a pair of shorts." I was a little skeptical - I have a JLo booty and I KNOW that shorts are tricky for me. I also am super conscious of the fact that I have thick, ugly legs, and so if I do wear shorts, they are longer.Never, ever shorty shorts, and I made a promise, years ago - there will never be words across my butt, unless they say "Wide Load".

But she insisted, and I had to admit that I was a good deal more comfortable in her shorts than mine.

Even if I did walk around the Rainforest in booty shorts that had WORDS across the butt.

i climbed up - LOTS OF SLIPPERY ROCKS!!!! - to the mid point of the waterfall - and I had pulled the shorts down for the pic. Braids and booty shorts - I'm really 12.

We climbed up the Yokahu Tower - elevation 1575 feet - to take pictures of the entire island. Those towers, off in the distance? The hotels on the part of the beach we visited. I think.

Do you see this weather? My hair was in pigtail braids because it RAINED the entire day. So, the beach wouldn't have been good, anyway. Sigh.

We both thought we'd see lots of wildlife and lots of pretty flowers and such. (Note: we are definite city people) This is the extent of the wildlife - except for the bugs.

And this was the flowers.

We were supposed to Zipline, but the rain came down in torrents and it was called off. So that item still remains to be done on my Great Bucket List o'Life. But, you can cross this one off the list - I did wear booty shorts. With words across the butt. Words that said Cavaliers.

Comments

Sounds like a fun trip and you do look cute...but who'd pick the rainforest tour over rum? Rainforests have snakes. Rum is tasty. Yes, I'm so deep.

Those waterfalls do look really cool, though. And refreshing.

I haven't wanted to try ziplining since a friend went last year and said stopping really hurt.

Posted by: Megan | April 23, 2012 at 01:49 PM

I love ziplining! The rainforest looks beautiful! My husband would have drug me to Bacardi and proceeded to analyze their distillation process and facility down to the nth degree!

Posted by: Nelson's Mama | April 23, 2012 at 01:57 PM