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My life is also 180' from where I'd intended. In some ways in small ways, in others, big.

I'm Canadian, but I've lived in Texas with no family around for 20+ years. Huh? Texas??

I get anxious around people I don't know. My high-school aptitude test suggested I be a window-glass installer or a cake decorator (apparently good jobs for an introvert). I'm a speech therapist. WTHeck?

I'm not the professor (or art historian, veterinarian, french interpreter, or architect (changed majors)) I thought I'd be, but I like my job.

As a child of divorce, I was determined to never get divorced. I waited 4 years of knowing my boyfriend before marrying him, because I thought I was being as certain as possible when I got married at 27. I'm divorced.

It's all mostly good, but not at all what I'd imagined/planned. I don't know what I'm doing either.


I have fewer children than I'd hoped (but about as many as I can manage). I have a husband who is perfect for me, though he doesn't look like the one I imagined. I've been a social worker, a lawyer, and now I'm trying to be a writer. My husband has just been handed a major diversion from the path he thought he was on. The kids and I will be traveling this new, unknown path with him. I have no idea what's next. Trying to be brave, or at the least, calm.

David Wescott

I was gonna play center field for the Red Sox.

Then a stand-up comic.
Then a computer programmer.
Then a lawyer.
Then a politician.

Now I look forward to hanging out with my wife & son.

so yeah, I get this.


Plan... oh yes well make plans and God laughs. I did though try

Liz in Seattle

I thought I'd write software for a handful of years, have some babies, and then run the world's most awesome classical homeschool. My children would know Latin and Greek, and be fully versed in grammar, logic, and rhetoric. And they'd play an instrument, rather well for their age.

I did write software, longer than I thought, until our much anticipated first baby came along, and I retired to homeschool. Five years later, we had our second and last.

The homeschool tanked, due to personality clashes and undiscovered needs for therapy. In terms of special needs, the first was merely a warmup act for the second. Music lessons were completely out the window. Latin and Greek were never to be. Instead, we got two extremely bright kids "doing great in the local high school, and heading off to Running Start in the fall," and "improving" in special ed. And I have a second career as an advocate and facilitator for my children.

But my eldest is a kind, empathetic Eagle Scout, with a passion for helping younger kids. My second is wise beyond his years, because of his struggles, and he's the most well-read and intelligent fourth-grader I know. I have loads of additional experience and patience, due almost entirely to dealing with the fork in the road. And that's not a bad thing :-)


As a petite first grader with short blonde hair ... I was certain I was going to be a tall nurse with long, black hair.

As a graduating senior who was co-valedictorian ... I was certain I'd get a degree in journalism and have an exciting career full of travel before settling down.

As a sophomore in college ... I was miserably separated by half a country from my Navy-man high school sweetheart. I dropped out of college to get married and follow his career.

Now, as a 27-yr-old ... I am perfectly happy (most days) with my life as the at-home-mother of four children age 6 and under. We own our house, owe nothing on our three cars, and he's got a secure job as an electrician. I wouldn't have it any other way!


Hmmm.....I am trying to be positive about this one, but hard since today I am rather depressed.

I thought I would be a marine biologist and live in Montana, where I grew up. I live in Southern California, been married for almost 25 years, and have 4 sons. All struggle with severe learning disabilities from my husband's side..it is genetic, but whatever. Two of my children suffer daily from chronic illnesses and we still do not know the life expectancy of my soon to be 13 year old miracle son. My boys are all my own flesh and blood, but the age difference between my oldest, who is 23 and my second is a little over 10 years, at almost 13 and being very close in age to his two younger brothers. I grew up with a huge age gap and hated it a lot. I don't know my younger siblings and I am not close to them.

I am not wealthy or even comfortable in life. We struggle to make ends meet and our church helps us out. My husband cannot keep jobs for very long because he has anger management issues. He has chosen poorly when it has come to his higher education. We are deeply in debt because of it and uses none of the education in his job. Neither of our families will help as my family is too far away and purposely will not help and my husband's family hate me and has done much to try to destroy our family.

This past year I have pondered my life. I made the choice to marry my husband and I need to suck it up and do my best to give it my all despite it all. I have made it clear to him he better no lose another job related to anger or he will not be married to me nor will he be a father to our sons. I use to cower when he was angry, now I speak up and don't let him bully me. He has never hit me, but his angry words did hurt me and he blamed me for it all....something his parents still tell him all the time...I am the one to be blamed for his inability to keep a job or make a decision. I try to love him and see what I first saw in him...to build him up, but without him bullying me or our sons.

The only things I love and enjoy about my life are my boys and my work as a volunteer in the Boy Scouts of America as a camp director over their cub scouting camp programs. Despite the illnesses, my boys have taught me about patience, love and waiting on the Lord. I have learned I am stronger than I realized, I have a very good memory for detail as well as a photographic memory. I can advocate for myself and others. I use my education to run 3 camps and manage a staff of 150+ between the 3 camps I direct. I am not perfect and don't claim to be, but I do have a good reputation for being a good camp director. I am training to eventually add the two family camps to my resume.

In many ways, I am better off than I realize and I am better than I was 25 years ago...sounds silly but it is. I don't let people walk on me.


Your analogy about the dark path was spot-on for how I feel, too. I was thinking last night that, for a variety of reasons, I need to search for a new job. If I get asked in an interview, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I'm just going to have to make something up. In a meeting with my boss' boss' boss a few months ago, she said, "You're a bright young woman; what are your plans for the future?" I admitted I didn't know and then dithered on about being unsure about going back to school or whether I ever wanted to be a manager. Probably not the best career move but she seemed to understand.

Throughout grade school, I dreamed first of being a nurse, then a ballerina, an actress, an astronaut (that one lasted a day), a violinist, an elementary school teacher and a developmental psychiatrist. I am none of those things. On almost all of them, I didn't want to put in the massive amounts of grueling work it'd take. I don't really regret that I'm not working 20 hours a day on a post-doc or retiring from my ballet career at age 28, but I wish I had been willing to put in the work.

Side note about personal trainers: Not many people really want to do the work involved to lose weight, but I think a great personal trainer holding you accountable is a huge help.


I'm 25.

I've been married for five years. I have four children and not a single one of them share genes with me or my husband. I am a stay at home mom. We live in the suburbs. I drive a minivan.

This? Was not my plan.

I am so thankful that the plans I made at 17 out of fear have fallen apart. I'm thankful that the plans I made at 19 out of stubbornness didn't come through either. I'm thankful that I laid my life in the hands of my husband and God and let the path roll out in front of me.

This is never what I planned for or thought I wanted. But it is beautiful and it is mine.


My life is vastly different from where I expected even one year ago. I could write tomes on it (and may at least write a blog post). And as crazy as my life has been, and as different as it has seemed from what I expected, I feel like--right now--I am exactly where I need to be for where I'm headed.


what's a p-p-p-plan?
and am I even ON a path??????
Ok off to peruse the more thoughtful answers to your query :)


Seems like the main thing is just to keep moving forward . . . you never know what will happen. I never in a million years thought I'd have the career I have or live in Southern California!


Oh dear. At 21 I was going to marry my college love but his need to travel the world and my need to get a job and an apartment in NYC blew that to pieces. Then I had another love, an Investment Banker and I fancied myself becoming a wife to one. I would learn how to play golf and whip up some fancy dinners but then when I learned that I would have to move to a depressed Midwestern City and wait until he finished his grad school and then work to pay off his loans before we could start a family I bolted. I guess I didn't really want those things.
So I married my born and bred Jersey guy. We both come from small business backgrounds. Our fathers went to the same high school in NYC. Our moms were both from different parts of the country. He wasn't the rugged adventure traveler like the first one, nor the Master of the Universe like the second, but he (was) and is kind, loyal, generous and a good husband and father. I've always wanted to be a mother and that's what I am. I never had a clear vision of working, other than a hazy notion of working in an office. I had a killer job on Wall Street for 7 years and hated just about every minute of it. I don't know what the future has in store for me either.


Hello! I post every once in a while and enjoy your sight. You don't need someone to publish your book(s). Have you looked into self-publishing e-books? What might not fit the publishing world's view of a good book may find a following.

I'm not selling anything. Just want you to not give up on your dream/path. I come to you sight on a daily basis. You write well. You connect with people. Don't listen to others. Do it yourself!


Do NOT throw your book away! Put it in a box or a drawer and revisit at another time. There is a reason, wait & see what it is.
Love & hugs

Carmen (not Stacier) ;-)

I agree with Liz and I think amazon may have a way to self-publish e-books.

Ouida Gabriel

I love the path that my life has taken. I wouldn't change it for anything. There are things that I wish for but as time goes on I realize that those things are not needed. I sense that we are alike; we love the twists and turns of life. I especially like it when I can look back and see Gods hand on my life.

Great post Carmen!

Ouida Gabriel

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.