To Everything, There is a Season

I am a member of the Arimatheans at my church. It is more casually known as the funeral Ministry. I assist in any way necessary at a funeral Mass. I might carry candles. I might serve as a Eucharistic Minister. I do what I need to do.

I like this job.

I am also on the Bereavement Ministry, which is somewhat different - I help with the receptions after the funerals, if the family requests that one is to be held. A couple of people serve on both.

There were four funerals this week. I helped at three of them.

I was happy to do so. I feel like this is what I'm called to do right now, to support a family in their time of loss, to be a mourner - even for a person that I don't know. The sparsely attended funerals are the most difficult. When I'm sitting and listening, I often wonder - who will be at my funeral? Will the pews be empty and quiet? Will the tissues remain unused, the choir outnumber the mourners? I really hope that the priest won't have to give a homily that shows clearly that the person wasn't active or known in the church.

I want to be a part of my church. I want to be an integral active member.

I also clean the church on Thursdays. I *love* those ladies. They are a hoot.

My mom counseled me not to become overly involved. She remembers the breakdown I had. The non stop crying on the sofa, the depression, the sadness that felt as much a part of my blood as my love for music, the despair

and she doesn't want me to go back there again.

Neither do I.

At many of the funerals I work, the first reading is from Ecclesiastes 3:1. Commonly known as the bible verse on which The Byrds basd their hit song Turn! Turn! Turn! - the reading illustrates that there is a time for everything in your life. I was spacing out today during the readings, and when I realized it I forced myself to really listen to the words.

I have terrible ADD. I'm often found - wait, was that something shiny?

:)

I thought about this reading today, and realized something. I'm often upset that I haven't sold a book/kept off all my weight/gotten a great new job/discovered a new use for dryer lint/become famous for solving the hunger crisis - and then I realized something.

It's not my time for those things yet.

I haven't gotten a new job to replace my old income - but I can be there, right now, for the people who need someone. I haven't sold my book yet, but I can be the arms and legs for the cleaning crew that is getting a bit older, struggling to reach as easily as they once did. I am not famous - but I can help.

And instead of beating myself up for what I haven't done, what I have yet to accomplish - it is a season.

I remember being overwhelmed with three kids in diapers, car seats in every space, pacifiers and high chairs and booster seats and teaching people to walk and talk and shoes are for your feet and food is to eat, not to play with and the A makes the aaaaa sound -

and we just got rid of every sippy cup and divided plate and almost every car seat except one booster and everyone can tie their shoes and be counted on to pee and brush their own teeth.

It was a season - albeit a long season, one that I *never* thought would change - but it has.

And this is a season for me right now. A season to be helpful, to fill in the spaces, to be the youngest one who knows absolutely nothing of the proper way to do things, the one to learn and be humble enough to take correction again and again and again.

Instead of beating myself up for what I haven't done, maybe I need to remember these words:

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

 A time to give birth and a time to die;
         A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.

 A time to kill and a time to heal;
         A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to weep and a time to laugh;
         A time to mourn and a time to dance.

A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
         A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.

Comments

[beth]

This is similar to something I have been reflecting on recently... I saw a quote just a few weeks ago that said "To have faith in God, means to also have faith in his timing."
I'm due in a couple of weeks and this week my Dad was diagnosed with cancer.
So. Having faith in timing over here!

[Genevieve]

Out of context, but new use for dryer lint: great fire starter. Roll up a ball and put it inside an empty toilet paper roll. It'll burn right up.

Gen

[Terry Faulk]

Carmen, I think this is one of your best posts ever. Thank you.

[Beth]

Beautiful! And exactly what I needed to hear today :) God never ceases to put the right people in my life at the right time. Have a wonderful weekend!

[Cheryl]

So beautifully said and so completely true. This is a comfort to more people than you could ever possibly know.

[Nobody]

Hey Carmen,

I have to ask, how did you get involved with being an Arimathean? Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that people as selfless as yourself are there to help the people left behind when someone passes. But what drew you to it? I've had numerous close friends and family die in the last few years and I don't think I could do it myself. I guess I'm selfish in that I'm more concerned with living as full a life as possible to constantly stop and think about my own mortality. I get that enough when those that I know die.

Anyway, I was just curious, because you are obviously a better person than I and I know everyone appreciates what you do..

[Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith]

This post is perfect for how I feel right now.