I am An Enigma

I am fragile. I get my feelings hurt far too easily.

This is something I'm actively working on.

Sometimes, when people are crude or rude or in other ways socially unacceptable - it's not all about you. It's about them. The reactions to their actions, the way they feel about themselves and the experiences they may be currently undergoing.

It's a mantra I repeat to myself very, very frequently - with limited, although expanding success.

At the same time, I feel as if I am developing a core of steel, forged by incredible heat and situtations over the past few years that I have experienced. I no longer temper myself in certain situations. I've been known to be filterless, to call people on their shenanigans and nonsense and I no longer have patience with situations that are just beyond ridiculous.

The result of this means that I am more true to myself and more comfortable in my own skin. More at home with who I am, who I will be and what I want in my lfe. I believe in myself enough to allow myself to live the life I was meant to live, the life that makes me happy - not the actions and the reactions that would make someone else's life happy.

The other side of fear - is courage.

 

Comments

[Cheryl]

It's a great feeling when you can transcend yourself to handle situations and people more appropriately, especially when you need to call people on their stuff. Not always comfortable but a necessary thing sometimes. Welcome, maturity! Good for you, Carmen!

[elizabethk]

Amen! I read a wonderful article recently about Fr. John Neuhaus (deceased) how he was always ALWAYS true to his self, faith - even at the risk of not having certain connections/or friends. I believe in the saying - if all you have is friends - and no enemies, you're doing something wrong. That does not mean - looking to be enemies (which I am certain some do) but never compromising your true self.

Hugs

[maggie]

Thanks, Carmen, I needed to hear this today. Still struggle with this one!

[addy]

Feels great to work your way over to that side doesn't it? Congratulations.

[Sandy]

I wish there was a like button I could press. Good stuff Carmen.