Lovely Sylvia asked me a series of questions a while ago and I thought I'd take today to answer them. I'd love it if you'd chime in with your own answers as well!
Which of your kids do you think look like you, which look like your husband, and/or which are even?
I am the WORST person to answer this question. I cannot see my kids in me or in my husband. It's like that part of me is dead. That said - I often hear that my oldest boy is the spitting image of my husband - they sound identical on the phone - but he behaves more like me. Emma, I've heard repeatedly, is the image and action of me all over again, and Riley looks like my husband, as does Mackenzie. We hear all the time that Gabe looks like my dad, and Allegra looks like me.
I'd love it if you'd chime in with your thoughts.
Also, which children act more like you versus the husband?
This is even more difficult. Mackenzie, I think, acts like me. We often belt out songs together and dance inapporpriately in public. She's also perpetually upbeat - like my husband. A couple of my kids are WAY moody - and that would be me. I dunno - this was a hard one!
How do you handle fighting between siblings?
With lots of yelling. I wish I was kidding - but it takes a while for me to get to that stage. Mostly I lose my patience with the endless bickering and the ugly treatment of the siblings - that I can't STAND. My kids will do chores if they annoy me, and we've had to do some heavy duty work on those who feel it's a great idea to call their sisters inappropriate and ugly names. My older kids have had their cars taken away, a couple of times I've taken Facebook and changed their password, and we've been known to do some work at Grandpa's for those that just can't seem to be nice.
Early bedtime works REALLY well too.
How do you discuss sex with the kids?
A funny - today, one of my kids asked me what an OBGIN was - all of the letters together, pronounced like it's spelled - OB (the word job with no J and then the beverage GIN at the end). When I finally figured out that the question referred to an OB-GYN - after I laughed, I explained. And we all laughed, and there were five of us in the car at the time. The point is, there's no real specific time. We talk about it when it comes up and as it's asked. I try to be as open and honest as I can.
And then I go in my room and freak out.
WHY, WHY, WHY ARE KIDS SO MEAN? Because the sky is blue and elephants are big and the sun is shiny. Seriously - I have NO idea. I think it gives them a feeling of power over another person - it's the small, petty part of all of us that likes to feel superior.
What can you add?
I agree--kids are mean and the sky is blue....there's no rhyme or reason to it. They can be really sweet and loving to each other or they can be really hateful. You just never know which way it's going to go some days and I am convinced that that is what turns fun, loving parents into mean, grumpy, tempermental ones. Kids just take you to your limits! I never knew what that meant until this last year or two living with 6 kids ages 14 down to 5. The early years were so easy compared to this!
Posted by: PamL | July 20, 2012 at 09:57 PM
Nic and Mackenzie definitely look like your husband. I think Riley looks like your mom. Allegra I'm not sure about. Sometimes Gabe looks like your husband, sometimes not. Emma? Sometimes you and sometimes not.
This, of course, is going by your Christmas card! ;-)
Posted by: Headless Mom | July 20, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Kids are just mean. No reason. I am not good at figuring out who resembles whom. Never have been. So, I'll go with what you said :) When the fighting amongst them results in blood then you've got yourself a fight.
Posted by: addy | July 21, 2012 at 07:52 AM
I really try to insist that my 6 treat each other with kindness. Good natured ribbing is fine, but meanness is not allowed. Your home should be the one place in the world that is a safe haven for you, and the place you feel treasured.
Posted by: lisa | July 21, 2012 at 11:28 AM
My kids can be adorably silly together one minute, then scream at each other the next. Just the other night, hubby and I were upstairs watching TV, enjoying the sound of the kids giggling together over a video game. Suddenly, my mom-senses kicked in and I went to the top of the stairs to listen and sure enough, they had started yelling at each other, culminating in my daughter storming out of the room, bailing in the middle of the game. Of course, each had a different version of what happened. Of course, they each blamed the other. As annoying and maddening as that is, that is what happens. The one rule we have, though, that brings heavy punishment down on the perpetrator is NO PUSHING OR HITTING. Period. It began as teaching my son that hitting girls is not acceptable, ever. But then I realized that girls hitting boys is not right either so it has been equal-opportunity punishment. I grew up in a household where physical violence was not tolerated. Hubby was beaten with a belt. Fortunately, he agrees with me that violence is a big no-no.
Posted by: Sonja Holzman | July 23, 2012 at 04:58 PM