Mom to the Screaming Masses

Your Life as a Book

It should come as no surprise to you that I love to read.

Love, love, love it. I read all the time - even when I shouldn't.

I heard a reflection this week that referred to a person's life as a book. What would the title of your book be?

Mine? Probably something like - The Thinking Person's Guide to Insanity. Or maybe Insanity: It Runs in the Family. Or - You too can have Bad Genes. (I'm sensing a theme...)

Or, maybe, just my name with the dates bookended.

What would the story be?

There'd be entire chapters that I'd feel completely comfortable skipping - and chapters that would be so short they'd be superfluous.There might be a few chapters that I'd be proud of, a few that would make my parents squirm and one or two that I'd probably be put on the censorship list for including.

I'm hopeful that the book would have many, many, many pages and chapters. :)

I imagine that, when you die, you take your book with you, wherever it is that you go. Your book is added to the shelf in your final resting place - whose book will yours touch? Will you be proud of your book, the book of "you", of who you are and what you did in your life?

Dude. I'm really morbid tonight, aren't I? I should have some really, really good news the beginning of next week. Betcha can't wait for something upbeat!

Love, Hate

Things I love:

• cold pea and shrimp salad for lunch with garlic toast
• Cooler weather
• pasta
• stacks and stacks of books
• the satisfaction of knowing that everyone has their homework done
• lipstick
• mascara
• iPhones
• wiping the completed day's assignments off my dry erase board
• getting a check in the mail
• punching the pads
• football
• cocktails
• when I sit down to write something and the words just flow - last night was the first time in a long time that happened
• people who know how to stand up for what they believe in without being rude or dismissive
• Amazon wish lists
• Voice dictation
• Le Creuset pans
• bright and shiny colors
• coffee at any time, but especially that first morning cup

Things I do NOT love:

• waiting and waiting for checks to come in the mail
• Country music
• uncomfortable shoes
• unflattering jeans
• hot peppers
• carrots
• beets
• smoking
• beer
• sparring rounds
• bureauracy
• political debates - I've already hidden several people in my facebook feed
• being without a tube of lip chap in my pocket
• in fact, not having ANY pockets
• obnoxious people
• rude people
• Drivers who don't move over when they see you walking on the street, forcing you to play a very dangerous game of chicken

What would you put on your list? Feel free to write up your own for your blog and link it here so we can all read it!

Pssst - look over here - I'm giving away an iHome - perfect for your college student's dorm, your bedroom, or the first Christmas gift on your list

Reflections

The incense is trapped in my hair. Every movement I make, I smell it.

I'm not going to wash my hair tonight.

It is a clear and present reminder for me. A shot of clarity.

The smoke covered my clothes today, as I stood on the altar and held the burner for the priest. He carefully spooned out the incense and as it hit the coal, the smoke wafted up, tickling my nose and triggering an almost irrestible urge to cough.

I stifled that urge. No one wants a coughing Arimathean.

The eulogy went a bit long, as they sometimes do, and the smoke that trickled out from the burner next to me was a tangible reminder that this wasn't a pleasure cruise. It helped me to focus today - my first shot at the incense -  and the ghost that shadowed me today is one that needs to remain.

________________________________

Yesterday, something happened to one of my kids at school that was a direct repeat of an action that occurred entirely too often last year.

Yes. Clear as mud, I know. But so so so many people from school read here and I just am not going through that again.

It angered me. It frustrated me. It saddened me.

And it left me open to questions, questions that put me on the defense, questions that made me feel stupid and uninformed  and feeling as if I haven't thought things through, haven't taken the time to educate myself on the realities of the matter -

When, actually, that's all I've done. For more than three years in this particular child's case.I'm actually tired of thinking about this issue and wish, from the bottom of my core, that it would just leave already.

I could abandon it, I think. But that would be to abandon my child and that would be to abandon my soul.

I get tired of being defensive. But defense is my best offense right now.

And that SUCKS.

____________________________

Funerals are good for me. They allow me to see beyond the petty, the annoying - ugh, he can't remember to do what I asked him and she's making me completely insane - and really see that I'm not in charge of anything at all.

It's that faith thing that I find simultaneously exhilarating and frustrating.

Mostly frustrating.

____________________________

Despite the fact that I didn't tell anyone about the incident - except for the teacher who was directly affected and one parent (and putting it on my facebook, but there are very very few school people there, I'm SO not a popular person - probably you could say I'm not a team player - definitely, that's hysterical right there)

The "in charge" knew about it.

And took the time to address it. With my husband. And my child.

Which was impressive. Reassuring. Calming.

And a wee bit spooky, because I would love to know who was the informant. I'd love to have the faith that this year, there's someone on our side.

And feel the faith that all of it will work out.

What Does Your Vision Board Look Like?

I confess - it's a bit "hoo-ha" for me, the concept of a vision board.

Vision board - a visual representation or collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life. It consists of a poster or foam board with cut-out pictures, drawings and/or writing on it of the things that you want in your life or the things that you want to become. The purpose of a vision board is to activate the law of attraction to begin to pull things from your external environment that will enable you to realize your dream. - credit, selfgrowth.com

I've never been one to create a vision board, to lay out in definite physical pictures what I want from life - but as a new school year begins - praise the Lord right there - I have been doing a bit of reflecting on what I want for the year.

I always think of back to school as the true "Beginning of the Year", as opposed to New Year's Day. Along with new notebooks and new binders and new clothes comes, for me, new concepts and new ideas and a fresh interest in organization.

As an aside, please, please let me get my kitchen into better shape. I've been toying around with a cabinet here or there, but we have this one "lazy susan" type cabinet that gets a ton of use - and the hinges on the doors break roughly every six months. With a hinge broken for approximately the 47265th time, I'm ready to seal that cabinet up and forget it's there. Maybe store Christmas decorations there - but it's a big cabinet and it's going to take some serious organization skils to figure this puzzle out.

What I want for this year is a decided lack of drama. I want my kids to enjoy school. My two youngest will - they are already loving it. I want them all to be challenged appropriately, to learn and stretch and grow - and to become the people I can see in their future. I want them to have the kind of year that, looking back as an adult, they can say - I had a great year, right there. I want teachers who actually care about my kid as a person, who are motivated to help my kid understand the area of instruction and to WANT to see my kid succeed. I've got that in a few of them - by my count, there are about 40 teachers for my kids this year, and that doesn't include my college kid, who is strictly on his own. But last year, I'm not gonna lie - and tough luck for you if you were involved in my kids lives last year and you know what I'm talking about and it makes you uncomfortable to read that - last year sucked for one of my kids. And there was this one person who could have made it so much better - and didn't.

For this year, I want to take one new project a week and create it - make your own bath bombs, soaps, lotion bars, etc - and one new recipe. At least one new recipe a week.

Over the summer, I backed off on the exercise - and it shows. Oh, boy, does it show. I went back to the insane workouts of a few years ago on Saturday - and I'm still feeling it today - and I'm going back for today. I've decided to do Crossfit type stuff Monday/Wednesday/Saturday, Zumba three times a week and walk with my husband at least twice. Imma get my sweat back on.

For this year, I want to figure out how to increase my income. I'm sick to death of my husband working his behind off - and it shows, the man has no butt - and still, it's too stretched and uncomfortable and on the edge of the razor every.single.day.

I want to learn to shoot a handgun. I want to ride a motorcyle by myself.

For this year, I want to feel a sense of accomplishment. That's what my vision board would show, if I created one.

What would your vision board show? What do you want to accomplish?

 

Things I've Learned about Myself

Volume One

As I grow older, I have noticed changes. With age comes wisdom, and all that jazz. Mostly, I've noticed that I'm starting to see little lines on my face, a droop in areas that used to stand up firm and high on their own self, and exhaustion.

Oh, yeah, exhaustion. I've said it before, read it in many places, and it's true - you bitterly regret all the naps you fought as a child when you are a grown up.

But today, the third day of school for my younger kids, is the first day of the back to school saga that my google calendar is blank. As in, empty. There's nothing scheduled. So I've planned to power through my work -

And cook for a few hours, and nap. With God as my witness, I will lay down and just be still for at least an hour.

I was thinking, though, about the things I've learned about me as I get older - and let me start off by saying that I'm ok with getting older. I'm not afraid of it, not fighting it - as I look back in life, I do wish I'd made some different choices, but I'm happy with me and where I am.

If you've read here for a while, you know that this is a hard won battle.

I've learned:

• I need much more sleep than my husband or family thinks that I need.
• I cannot skip breakfast. And that breakfast, for me, cannot consist solely of sugar and/or carbs.
• I'm a lip balm addict and I get slightly - ok, more than slightly - panicked when I don't have some nearby.
• I love to be busy.
• But I also crave some quiet time. 
• My life is not complete without music.
• And dance. There always must be dance of some kind. Lately, it's zumba - but I'd love to find a pure barre class around - I grew up doing ballet and it's always my first love. My body isn't the right shape at all for it, but I still want to dance.
• I'm addicted to technology and the Internets.
• I'm strong.
• Everyone needs a pair of "good butt" jeans - ones that make you look and feel amazing. I'm still on the hunt for mine. 
• I need to check my front porch for spiders before I walk up the steps - we have these ENORMOUS spiders who spin fantastically huge webs that cover the entire porch - and I look like a fool when I walk through one and do the "Spider Web freak out dance" - and don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. It's hysterical - as long as it's not you doing it.
• I'm doing the very best that I can do. Some days, that just won't be enough. As long as I can say, every night before bed, that I gave it my all - I will have to be happy with that.
• People will not always agree with me. I won't agree with them. 
• Three drinks is my limit.
• Never eat shrimp from a buffet server who is walking around at a party.
• I don't do enough late night driving with the windows rolled down and the stereo blasting.
• I am a good person. Despite what a small crowd of dissenters tries to promote - I am a good person.

Tell me - on this fine Friday that's dreary and sprinkly and overcast - what have you learned about yourself?

_______________

Other cool stuff:

Enter to win a $10,000 grocery shopping card

or a $50 Visa gift card

Or a super cool and amazing Harley Davidson Women's Jacket

Or a $500 Spa Finder gift card

Update on Allegra's Invisalign braces

Create a personal pouch for your daughter for back to school confidence

 

Lunch Box Woes, Part 3

You've got questions, I'll try to determine some answers...

I have a kid who is pretty sensory and has a very limited and very specific selection of what he will eat. He's starting school this fall and I wondered what you, as a fellow parent of a sensory kid, would aim for with school lunches. I've made a list of what I know he'll eat: apple slices (red skin), carrots (baby, pre-washed), cucumbers (english, cut in circles), milk or juice, two or three kinds of crackers, oatmeal, most breakfast cereals and the occasional string cheese. He'll eat peanut butter but that's not allowed at school. My gut feel is that school lunch is not the place I want to fight the good fight of expanding his palate and willingness to see, touch, smell and eventually eat new foods. But I am afraid of being judged (he's my 3rd, but I know his teacher and principal).

Hmmmm. I actually see nothing wrong with this list.

Also? Let go of the fear of being judged. You will always, always, ALWAYS be judged by someone. And if you are being judged by someone, based upon the foods that you listed above - I'd be totally ok with that judgement. Does that make sense? That is to say, I'd say you were within your grounds of fear of judgement if you packed a lunch that consisted of a twinkie, sugar cereal and a coke. The above list, though, is pretty balanced, covers the food groups, and, above all -

It's FOOD HE WILL EAT. And, isn't that the point of lunch? To get food into his body?

I know your worry, though, and so here are some of my thoughts.

• Write up a list, with his help, of foods that he agrees are acceptable for lunch. You sign it, he signs it, and it's posted in the kitchen. He packs his lunch - with your help if needed - from the foods on the list. Maybe one day the two of you cut up a cucumber and put slices into small containers, so he can pull them from the fridge. Maybe you buy the pre cut apple slices and you both bag them. I do as much of this stuff as I can, so that when they pack, it's super easy to grab a few containers.
• You are right - school lunch is not where you want to fight the good fight of expanding his palate. Home is where you want to do that - knowing that it will take numerous exposures to new foods to allow him to open his mind up to them - and you don't want the new foods thrown away at school - as well as the thought of him hungry all day doesn't fill you with awesomeness. So allow him to pack what he will eat - give him the power - and let it go.
• You can't do peanut butter. Will he eat soy butter? Sunflower butter? Are you allowed another nut butter? Sometimes kids can't tell the difference, and I've known other parents to successfully swap the pb for soy by combining them. That is, start with pb on a piece of bread and mix in a little soy butter. Each time, reduce the pb a bit and soon it's all soy butter. I've not tried this myself - but other people have reported success.

I'd love to know other people's thoughts on this.

I had a couple of people ask the same questions - lunches for picky eaters - and they kind of go along with this question.

I think you've done this before, but I could use some nut-free lunch ideas for a picky child whose lunch rotation usually goes something like this: peanut butter sandwich, nutella sandwich, cream cheese bagel, repeat. Things she might eat that won't endanger the allergic child in her class would be extremely helpful.

How about: yogurt, hard boiled eggs, tuna in a pouch (I will never ever eat this, but one of my kids inhales it), cream cheese and jelly spread on a tortilla, rolled up and cut into spirals, spaghetti in a thermos, cold pasta salad, fried chicken legs, waffles with nut butter and jelly, french toast sticks, cheese cubes and crackers, hummus with veggies, mini pizza bagels, leftover pizza, cold mac and cheese, pepperoni slices.

Any other ideas?

 

First Look, First Taste

I love to cook. All day long, I love to cook. I went to college for Culinary Arts - I didn't finish because I ran out of money - stupid money, getting in the way of EVERYTHING. I really like to share tried and true recipes with you guys - after all, something can look really awesome on Pinterest, and you can follow every direction and every step and end up with something totally unpalatable.

I may have done that once or twice or three times.

I've long been a fan of ConAgra. From their partnership with George Duran (yum!) to their charitable donations through Child Hunger Ends Here, ConAgra seems to me to be a company that stands for good stuff. It also helps that many of the offerings reside in my kitchen.

Yummmm, RO*TEL.

ConAgra Foodsí has come up with a new online resource created especially for bloggers. Called The Dish, bloggers can get the latest information on foods and insights to spark stories for blog posts, including seasonal recipes, the latest food industry trends, recipes, details on upcoming ConAgra Foods programs, and more.

The Dish consists of four main content areas:

• Seasonal Spotlight
• Recipe Resources
• Ask Our Team ñ a panel of experts which includes: Phil Lempert, savings expert; Dan Skinner, editor-in-chief; Carelys Hepburn, Hispanic resources; and Abby Penich, ReadySetEat Community Manager
• First Look, First Taste - the latest and greatest in new products

I spent an awful lot of time on the site, and realized that not only do I know and respect many of the people who are on The Dish - but that, as much as I think I know about both blogging AND cooking - there's always room for more.

Sign-up and become a member of The Dish, follow @ConAgraDish on Twitter, and request product samples from the First Look, First Taste section - I think that The Dish is a completely unique concept and I'm looking forward to seeing it flourish. Besides, ANY opportunity to watch George Duran cook is a golden opportunity for me.

Would you like to win a $50 gift card to purchase groceries and try out one of those great recipes? To enter, please tell me one fact you learned on The Dish.

Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion with hash tag #sweepstakes and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 8/22/2012-9/8/2012.

Be sure to visit ConAgra Foods' brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers reviews and find more chances to win!

I Made It

Today was "Meet the Teacher" day. We had nine teachers to meet. We arrived with book bags full of notebooks, loose leaf paper, labeled pencils, nerves and glue.

We left with instructions, locker assignments, soft workbooks to cover in contact paper, and a lot less nervousness and a little more confidence.

And I left with a feeling of overwhelming gratitude and thankfulness.

I made it.

This was a difficult summer for me. I traveled three times, for 3-5 days each time. I ramped up my review work (and there will be a review post up tomorrow, thank you so much for your attention to these, you have NO IDEA how much it helps me out to make an income - well, all I can say is, BLESS YOU for reading and commenting because, hello, school supplies/shoes/uniforms/lunch boxes killed my entire month and it's only the 21st...)

And I still need to buy a SAXOPHONE. Have you *priced* those suckers?

I tried, as much as I could, to make this summer about them. I took them places, swam with them, read and cooked and focused on them - but by ten days ago, I was officially toast. For the past ten days, I've been hanging on by my fingertips - and tonight I officially lost my cool.

But tomorrow, I wake early and drive the three youngest to school, where they will stay until 3. My older two girls still have two weeks of summer - but they sleep until noon and so, gloriously, I will once again have some quiet that is not interrupted with nerf gun wars and screaming fits, interspersed with tantrums and fights and whining, topped with a cherry on the sundae of I'm so incredibly bored.

I want to be a good mom. I desperately try to be a good mom. But I'm overwhelmed with keeping up with the needs and desires of six kids - and, make no mistake, the older ones desire attention just as much as the younger ones - and being the only parent here -

well, I'm tapped out.

But I made it.

Because I'm All About the Honesty 'Round Here

Yesterday I was driving around with my middle girl. She's a new high schooler, and, as she's been in private school, she's a bit more sheltered than my other kids.

I LIKE this. I'm HAPPY with it. I'm not looking forward to the streetwise attitude that I know is on the way.

We sat at a stop light and I rolled the windows down.

(Psst - rolled the windows down? How OLD am I??? NO ONE rolls the windows down any more. You put them down by pushing a button.)

SIGH.

Ok, so the windows were down, and my girl took a giant sniff of fresh air - made more so by the rain that had just fallen. She crinkled her nose and looked at me. "What's that smell?"

I took a deep breath. What was that - oh, whoa. I haven't smelled that in years. Took another deep breath. Yup, clearly and definitely remember that smell from the back of the stadium, the illicit parties that were thrown when parents weren't around, and under the bleachers at the football games.

Stalling for time, I said, (breathing deeply once again), "You've never smelled that? That - deep breath again - is not a known substance to you?"  She looked at me with astonishment. "No. It smells gross. What is it?"

I took another deep breath, just to be certain, and the light turned green. I halfway - ok, more than halfway - contemplated making a U turn and going back to sit at the stop light, but honesty - and yet another deep breath - compelled me to share with her what the smell was.

"It's pot. Someone is smoking pot," I explained.

"Oh, that's gross! That smells so bad! I'm NEVER EVER smoking that!" she loudly swore.

And I wondered if I could get that in writing. And if I'd get a ticket for an illegal U-turn. And thanked God that she didn't ask me anything I really didn't want to answer at that moment.

Lunch Box Woes, Part 2

Sandwiches. The very bane of my existence.

True story - one of my kids packed a lunch once, and it contained drinkable Stonyfield Farms yogurt, mini homemade pumpkin muffins, 2 light babybel cheeses, carrot sticks and grapes. The monitor told her to, next time, tell her mom that she needed to pack a sandwich - what she had wasn't a real lunch.

You know, like those Uncrustables and the Lunchables - and all those other "able" things that are just gross.

For some kids, it isn't lunch without a sandwich, and for others, there is no way that a sandwich will ever cross their lips. For some kids, a peanut butter sandwich is the only acceptable lunch box choice, and for others: a peanut butter sandwich can be life threatening.

So let's talk sandwiches and their alternatives. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the choices I've listed below, and share with me some that I may have forgotten.

Here are some things I've found lunch box successful:

• Cheese and Crackers - String cheese. Cubed Cheese. Spreadable cheese.Whole wheat crackers, Triscuits, etc. This is a pretty self explanatory section.
• Soup - A couple of my kids really, really love soup. If they have access to a microwave, the soup at hands are great lunch box material. If not, try this tip - fill a thermos with boiling water and cap it. Allow it to sit on the counter for ten or fifteen minutes, and then empty the water and fill it with hot food. Cap the thermos and pack it, and that food should stay warm until lunchtime.
• Leftovers - We've done spaghetti or a similar favorite dinner for lunch the next day, using the above "heat up the thermos" tips.
• Cold Cheese Ravioli or Tortellini - This is a terrific finger food for little kids, and if you pack a tiny container of parmesan cheese it's exceptionally fun.
  
• Tortilla Roll Ups - Spread a tortilla with cream cheese or a smal bit of mayo and then add your choice of meat and cheese. Roll the tortilla and then slice it into circles.
  
• Salad - Topped with meat or cheese, sunflower seeds and fruit, salad is good for high schoolers who might slack on veggie choices, but at the same time could also be weight conscious.
  
• Hard Boiled Eggs - Part of the fun of hard boiled eggs is cracking them, right? Well, that, and the little bit of salt my mom gave us. Put the eggs in a saucepan and cover with water. Allow to come to a boil, cover and turn off the heat. Let eggs sit for fourteen minutes, drain the water off and fill the pan with ice. Cover the pan and shake briskly - the ice helps the egg to shrink from the shell and makes peeling a snap.
  
• Yogurt and Mini Muffins - Yogurt tubes and drinkable yogurt can be frozen and help to keep the lunchbox cold. Muffins can be sweet or savory. Even a cup of yogurt makes for a filling lunch - just don't forget the ice pack.  
• Hummus and Pita Chips - It's protein that doesn't taste like protein.