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Comments

Stephanie ODea

wow! I'm such a special snowflake I must have been in my own snowglobe because I saw/heard none of this! Yikes.
I love your idea of having more of the small, intimate group settings, and with appointments. You are right that they are clearly written about beforehand, and my head hurts by people not wanting to read emails and instructions beforehand.

BlogHer did good by choosing you to be the gatekeeper. Adam and I were so happy to run into you as often as we did. And now Adam wants to find a way to visit more and see Frank again. :-)

oxox steph

Tammy

Sadly, I'm seeing this kind of behavior more and more in women and it bugs me. I had a friend I hated to eat out with because she was always so rude to the staff, sent her food back every time and on and on. I'm sorry this was your experience at Blogher. I know how much you love Blogher. It seems this sense of entitlement we typically describe this generation's teens describes more than just that generation. It seems to describe much of our society. We've become a "me" society and it's disturbing. It's very refreshing to find women who aren't like that and I know they still exist. I hope your next venture finds more of the nice ladies. Sounds like you need them. :)

burghbaby

I managed to avoid seeing any of the The Snowflake Syndrome most of BlogHer this year, but only because I very actively made it a point to avoid it. Near the very beginning of the conference I witnessed an incident that reminded me to do so, and I did a FANTASTIC job because of that incident.

(At a party there was a table of food set up to be approached from only one side. The "back" of the table was a few feet from the wall, though, so someone decided to start a line on that side. One fabulous woman tripped over VERY large equipment that was very obviously there and her free brownie went tumbling to the floor along with her. She wasn't injured, except perhaps her ego. She proved that ego to be HUGE by spending (no joke) TEN minutes complaining to hotel staff about how that piece of equipment shouldn't have been there. I'm pretty sure she was waiting for them to comp her entire weekend, even though it was her own fault for treading into parts of the room that were not intended for conference attendees. Thanks, Wanna Be Millionaire Tripper for reminding me to avoid the snowflakes!)

Selfish Mom

I am so sorry you had to deal with all of that. While I can't believe someone would threaten to punch you in the face over something like this (per facebook)...I can. It's just disgusting. I don't think this makes it any better, but those people exist in every group, every conference, every profession, every segment of society. So at least we're...equal? Ugh.

FWIW, I barely paid attention to the emails and BH website leading up to the conference, and even I knew about the sign-ups for the Geek Bar (I signed up for a session before realizing I only had an Expo pass, and cancelled it). So while there are always things that could be highlighted better, the info was there for anyone doing a minimal amount of looking.

Mrs. Jen B

That is so, so unfortunate. I've heard many such stories, coming out of BlogHer and other conferences, and I just don't get it. Where does this sense of entitlement come from? Granted, I used to work in the hotel/restaurant industry and know all too well how people act when they're out of their natural element. Somehow, there are folks who truly believe that when they're on vacation or at a conference, everyday rules do not apply. But this, what you wrote about? Is inexcusable. I'm really sorry you had to put up with that!

Amanda

I had someone literally look at me with disdain when I responded that no I wasn't going to any private parties. "Oh, wel I'm bla blah blah." I waited, smiled and said, "You know, for me this conference is really about focusing on my writing and establishing connections." I think it's inevitable to bump into people at a conference this large that you don't see eye to eye with, but to not understand, as Katie Couric put so eloquently, that when a person in front of you is doing their best and maybe not doing it perfectly, you should be able to find compassion. I helped Hilton staff push carts, and I reached out and touched women's elbows to whisper quickly, "Your session was fantastic."

If you can't make it into a one, boom, talk to an attendee after the fact or seek out a panelist. Life and conferences are what you make of them.

So sorry you got hassled.

jani lebaron

I've never been to BlogHer, but only heard positives. My mom always told me, "What someone thinks of me is none of my business" and "to have friends, one must be friendly". How sad that you'd be put through that ordeal. Good for you for posting about it! Take a jar that reads, "chill pills" next time and offer them one!

Megan

OK, first off, if you paid $800 just to attend a session that's capped at eight people, with no guarantee of getting in, you're an idiot. That's like spending $800 on lottery tickets and then yelling at the lottery system because you didn't win.

I'm very sorry to hear these people were so upset about not getting into a blogging session (such a first-world problem) they felt it was appropriate to abuse you, who didn't make the rules anyway. I work in a hospital and every week talk to people whose lives have been devastated by circumstances beyond their control, and they manage to treat people with more respect than what you're describing. I would love to read these women's blogs. I wonder how loudly their sense of entitlement comes through in their writing.

Christina

Ugh, sorry you had to deal with people like that. I didn't see too much of it this weekend, although I do see this behavior more and more in everyday life. Even children are starting to act like this - wonder where they learned it?

I was signed up for writing bar sessions and gave them up as soon as I found they'd conflict with fashion show rehearsals. I wanted others to have the chance to take my spot.

Entitlement drives me nuts. There are moments when people are in the right, but too often someone is trying to argue that they deserve special treatment without any valid reasons behind it.

Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith

I have seen this so many times especially when I worked retail, sorry you had to be exposed to that experience.

Brandy

I see proof of this everywhere these days. Our society has become a "me, me, me" society and it makes my head and heart hurt.
I'm so sorry you were subjected to all that, though it does sound as if you did a great job and have good ideas for next time.

maggie

I've always secretly wanted to go to Blogher even though I don't blog. It just seems like a lot of fun and you get to meet people you feel like you know through their writing. I'm sorry some of these people forgot to have fun!

Miss Lori

Your piece is written with such grace. Thank you for your service to the community. I am sorry you were treated with such fire. No one should try to melt your snowflake like that. I wish you a cool healing breeze.

SMILE!

Miss Lori

MissVersatile

It was my first BlogHer. I unfortunately wasn't that impressed because I encountered far too much "I'm more special then you" attitudes. Plus not being a "Mommy Blogger" didn't make my site very appealing to the brands. I missed out on 99% of the branded events and spent more time wandering around like a lost puppy between sessions.

I even got someone who told me they didn't have time to meetup because they had only scheduled meetings with brands and top bloggers in their field. If I wanted to see them I could pre-pay for a consultation. (I just wanted to say hi irl and maybe grab coffee).

Another blogger replied when I saw her and said "nice to meet you, I follow you on Twitter" ...she said "Of course you do, everyone does" to which i took out my phone found her account and replied "well I don't anymore" and walked away.

I did get just enough out of BlogHer conference to give it another chance next year in Chicago. I hoping that because the hotel where it's being held is so far from downtown area that there will be less "private" off conference events and also by then brands won't be so "Mommy Blogger" focused in their time at BlogHer.


KG


It's the yellow snowflakes that you have to look out for... they're always messing it up for the rest of us!

Laurie

Exactly why I don't go anymore. That sense of entitlement ruined it for me several years ago.

LisaK

Geez Carmen, I'm so sorry to hear about this...what is up with people these days????

Vicky

Carmen, I love your "special snowflakeness" comment! I promise to give you credit whenever I say it to someone!

lisa

so so sorry!

Mari

People do just drive me crazy sometimes. Sorry you experienced so much rudeness. Wonder what happened to "you catch more flies with honey"?

likeablegirl

So sorry you were mistreated. So glad you handled it & wrote about it with grace. I've never been to Blogher. I'm sure it's because I keep my head in the sand, but I really have no idea what it's about or why people go. People write about it like it's Mecca, which I don't understand, though it does make me curious. But when I read things like this it makes me ask - why would I want to go? I can find petty near home for free. *sigh* I bet those ladies didn't write anything about how they really acted on their write-ups.

Every time I experience that sense of entitlement from someone, it makes me want to say "When you find the person to complain to, about me, be sure to tell them to dock my pay too, would you? Perhaps you could consider that the people around you are volunteers doing their best, not staff paid to take your abuse. We aren't the enemy. We'd like you to have a good time and enjoy the conference, but we do have to play by the rules that apply to everyone. If you feel it can be done better, you're welcome to volunteer too. In the meantime, here's a comment card."

Liz

This is crazy. What the hell is going on? I am so very sorry you had to deal with this horrendous behavior! I really do feel that BlogHer should split into several different conferences: one for newbies, one for more experienced bloggers and one for teaching basics of what it takes to act like a human being, for frig's sake. Unbelievable.

frelle

Im so sorry things were so ugly at the Geek Bar. Im glad we got to spend a little time together there, though. I saw very little of the ugly this time, but it's certainly there... and thank you for talking about it. People need to GTF over themselves. Really.

"I'm really big on the internet, so you'd better do what I say or I'll "get you" my pretty, you and your little DOG, too"

Ridiculous much?

Anne (@notasupermom)

I just want to give you a hug.
You did a great job and I'm very grateful for your time and effort.

Jenn @ Mommy Needs Coffee

I am horrified by the way you were treated. I was horrified by what I saw. I'm sorry you were treated in such an awful way. I am SO with Liz. It's time for BlogHer conference organizers to wake the hell up and see that a serious change needs to be made. They need to split this conference into two levels. I guarantee they will see a HUGE difference in how things go down if they do. If things don't change, I am heartbroken to say I just attended my last BlogHer and you KNOW I have been a super strong supporter of the conference since the first one in '05. It's just not okay to allow this. Not okay at all.

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  • WANTED, Carmen, mom to the Masses, for dangerous undertakings inside and outside the home. Last seen with her partner The Hubster, and six accomplices (Nikolas 22, Allegra 19, Mackenzie 17, Gabriel 14, Emma 12 and Riley 10). This fugitive is considered armed (with epi pens and inhalers) and dangerous, especially when she hasn't had her morning coffee. She has been known to hide beneath large piles of laundry. She has her Black Belt in Muay Thai and can be found reading, training Crossfit, boxing or running to the store for milk and bread. And coffee. Always the Coffee.