Every Person has a Story

That's been a really interesting part of doing funeral ministry for me.

I have a tendency to take people at their public face - what they show to the public, what most people know about them. I mean, if someone comes across as a know it all, difficult to get to know, sort of standoffish and rude - who among us doesn't take that person at that truth?

And avoid getting to know that person.

When, in reality, that person may have a fascinating story of love and loss, heartbreak and tragedy, irritability and stalwart servitude. But you'd never know it.

You find out a LOT about people when you start to talk to them - and even more when you shut off your own big fat mouth, close down your ever working brain, stop trying to figure out what you are going to say next

and instead - just listen.

I spoke with an older lady once, who had been married to a sailor and was being honored during a Veteran's Day ceremony. I asked her what she'd done to be awarded - and she said, with a shrug,

I was just a mom.

But when I talked to her, for a long while, she had so many stories of love and loss. Betrayal, heartbreak, death and denial sandwiched in there with a whole lot of laughter and snark.

I try to remember this when I'm dealing with someone especially difficult. Reflecting on the person as a puzzle, an enigma, a challenge - has been really helpful, and I wonder:

What would be the piece of information that people would find most interesting, most unusual or most astonishing about you?

Comments

[JMB]

That my heart was broken in pieces by a college boyfriend whom I haven't seen or spoken to in over 20 years, yet I still wake up sad by dreams of him and his betrayal a few times a year. I love my husband and have been married for close to 20 years, however, I don't think I'll ever get over this first loss.

Most unusual/astonishing - healed from smoking through confession!

[JMB]

OK, that was so weird. First love's LAST NAME popped up in box!!!!

[Brandy]

I'm ordinary. I love with all my heart and do everything I can to make my family's dreams come true. Shocking and surprising to me? I taught a yoga class on Monday and I truly think I want to get my certification to teach. For a certified shy to the point of panic attack person this is quite surprising!

[Sonja]

JMB - and I say this as someone who has been there - you need to talk to someone about him so you can get some closure!
Okay, moving on . . . I am definitely someone who strikes people as boring, plain, ordinary, etc. when they first meet me. But those who get to know me know that I can be wickedly funny, that I swear like a truck driver when I'm mad, that I will go to the mat defending people I love but also that I am very forgiving - almost too much.
So my close friends wouldn't be shocked by much, but there are even family members, close ones, who do not know the passionate side of me. My parents are extremely conservative - they don't know much about this side of me.

[JMB]

Brandy,

My sister got her yoga certification a few years ago and now has a wonderful job teaching yoga in various gyms and studios in the area. She also looks amamzing. Go for it.
Sonja, You're right, I really should talk to someone about this. Confession? It worked with the smokes!

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