I spent some time shopping this weekend. I need to get a few new things to wear for the cooler weather - and the fact that I've put on my winter weight NOW just means that I work ahead of schedule, right?
Blerg. I hate shopping for clothes.
No. I don't hate shopping for clothes, I hate LOOKING for clothes that will fit, look good on me and cover that which I don't want to flout.
I wanted to find a few dresses that would be good to wear with boots - cowboy and regular boots. I wanted to find tailored long and 3/4 sleeve jewel tone button front shirts that didn't look boxy but had enough room for my boobs to be covered AND allowed me to cross my arms without discomfort. I wanted to buy a really good pair of jeans. These things, and a tall pair of black boots. Like riding boots - I bought a brown pair last year and knew how much trouble that was, as I apparently have ginormous calves - let's just go with muscular. I knew I'd probably have to order them.
I didn't anticipate spending two full days at two different malls + TJ Maxx stores plural + Marshall's + 2 thrift stores + somewhere else that I've thankfully blanked out of my mind. Coldwater Creek, J Crew, Banana Republic, J Jill, Ann Taylor Loft, White House/Black Market, Nordstroms, Dillards, and every other store that was at the mall - even the ones that are too young for me.
I didn't think I was asking for the moon.
My guidelines are easy:
What I don't want: pockets on the front of dresses in the hip area, rickrack, ruffles on the boobs, flounces on the skirt, wild animal prints, pleats, skirts that end right below my butt, scarves.
Things with which I have to work: big boobs, heavy legs, lots of varicose veins/spider veins, a big butt, a broad back, long torso, short legs, and heavy arms. I'm also a little, shall we say, ripply - need an undergarment to smooth out the body before putting the dresses on.
Which makes me sound like a mutant - but I'm a realist. These are the things that I need to worry about when I'm buying clothes.
What I'm looking for: tailored, fitted shirts in jewel tones, sweater dresses - Especially solid colors that I can wear with funky tights and boots.
What I want to know is - where do the grown up women shop? Cuz just about everything I saw was fit for a teenager, or my grandmother. Skirts that were high in the front and low in the back. Most every sweater dress was so tight in the bust that the weave was thin enough to see through. Every tailored shirt gapped in the bustline between the buttons. Boots didn't zip past the mid line of the calf. Jeans gapped in the waist or meant I needed to hold my breath.
I ended up with two dresses - my husband HATES one of them - three pairs of brightly colored tights (mustard, bright blue and purple) and a skirt.
And a raging cast of body hatred and a desire to NEVER shop again. AND - a question to go along with the other - why is a size 6 in one store a size 10 in another, and an XL in a third won't even meet in the middle?