I spent some time shopping this weekend. I need to get a few new things to wear for the cooler weather - and the fact that I've put on my winter weight NOW just means that I work ahead of schedule, right?
Blerg. I hate shopping for clothes.
No. I don't hate shopping for clothes, I hate LOOKING for clothes that will fit, look good on me and cover that which I don't want to flout.
I wanted to find a few dresses that would be good to wear with boots - cowboy and regular boots. I wanted to find tailored long and 3/4 sleeve jewel tone button front shirts that didn't look boxy but had enough room for my boobs to be covered AND allowed me to cross my arms without discomfort. I wanted to buy a really good pair of jeans. These things, and a tall pair of black boots. Like riding boots - I bought a brown pair last year and knew how much trouble that was, as I apparently have ginormous calves - let's just go with muscular. I knew I'd probably have to order them.
I didn't anticipate spending two full days at two different malls + TJ Maxx stores plural + Marshall's + 2 thrift stores + somewhere else that I've thankfully blanked out of my mind. Coldwater Creek, J Crew, Banana Republic, J Jill, Ann Taylor Loft, White House/Black Market, Nordstroms, Dillards, and every other store that was at the mall - even the ones that are too young for me.
I didn't think I was asking for the moon.
My guidelines are easy:
What I don't want: pockets on the front of dresses in the hip area, rickrack, ruffles on the boobs, flounces on the skirt, wild animal prints, pleats, skirts that end right below my butt, scarves.
Things with which I have to work: big boobs, heavy legs, lots of varicose veins/spider veins, a big butt, a broad back, long torso, short legs, and heavy arms. I'm also a little, shall we say, ripply - need an undergarment to smooth out the body before putting the dresses on.
Which makes me sound like a mutant - but I'm a realist. These are the things that I need to worry about when I'm buying clothes.
What I'm looking for: tailored, fitted shirts in jewel tones, sweater dresses - Especially solid colors that I can wear with funky tights and boots.
What I want to know is - where do the grown up women shop? Cuz just about everything I saw was fit for a teenager, or my grandmother. Skirts that were high in the front and low in the back. Most every sweater dress was so tight in the bust that the weave was thin enough to see through. Every tailored shirt gapped in the bustline between the buttons. Boots didn't zip past the mid line of the calf. Jeans gapped in the waist or meant I needed to hold my breath.
I ended up with two dresses - my husband HATES one of them - three pairs of brightly colored tights (mustard, bright blue and purple) and a skirt.
And a raging cast of body hatred and a desire to NEVER shop again. AND - a question to go along with the other - why is a size 6 in one store a size 10 in another, and an XL in a third won't even meet in the middle?
check lane bryant for the boots (you probably don't fit in any of their clothes) -- all of their boots are "wide calf"-- they have some cute ones this year! BUT, check with the store if it is out of the way before going to see if they have the boots because some don't have shoe sections
Posted by: becky dunnell | October 14, 2012 at 07:27 PM
I have a hard time finding anything that doesn't make me look like I'm either pregnant or post partum. I have a high waist and A line is the only dress style I can wear.
Posted by: kyooty | October 14, 2012 at 07:28 PM
As much as we would like to be able to buy something off the rack and wear it, sizes are so skewed and made to fit a perceived "average", that it is often not possible. The answer: we need a tailor. Find a decent well made article of clothing that fits the largest part (bust, hips, shoulders, what have you) and have it tailored to fit the rest of you.
Another point, one of major consternation for me - is that you can find the hard to fit items, but they are online, not in stores. So what would normally take 10 minutes in a store turns into a 4 or 5 day process when you order, say, a boot for a thick calf, wait for it arrive, decide if it fits, and return it if it doesn't, only to have to start over again. What a hassle.
FWIW, I just read Tim Gunn's Fashion Bible - a worthy read. I will take what I have learned from it when I go shopping from now on.
Posted by: Tara | October 14, 2012 at 07:40 PM
I hate shopping too. The body in my head never looks the one looking back at me from the mirror. This week I did find a nice pencil like black skirt that I could wear with pumps or tights and boots or flats. And some black not quite skinny jeans. A couple tights Spanx higher power anything are my friends. Lane Bryant does have a lot of boots. Kicking myself that I didn't try any of them on. Fitzwell is another larger calf boot line you can find on zappos. And on occicassion I have found boots with lots of goring (stretchy part around calf) at target
Posted by: Amy | October 14, 2012 at 08:09 PM
Oh I can sympathize with you! I had to go jean shopping yesterday (had to as in - had somewhere to go, and my jeans had given out) we only have on store here that sells jeans so I didnt have to go to lots of stores like you - but I ended up in the dressing room in tears. Do people actually wear, or should I say, fit in the clothes they sell? It seems like a lot of people have the same problems, so why dont they make "Normal" people clothes - would make it easier on us all :)
Posted by: CJ | October 14, 2012 at 08:57 PM
This is why I sew. Love, love, LOVE it. Hate shopping off the rack, unless it's a thrift store.
Of course, it's not everyone's cup of tea. But being one's own "tailor" is so rewarding and empowering. I love my "abnormal" body much more now!
Posted by: xenia katie | October 14, 2012 at 09:05 PM
I have the same issue with the boots. For the most, I'm happy with how I look! I'm a size 10/12, healthy, and I've birthed two babies. Body parts ain't gonna look perfect up in here! But, when I do get frustrated with how my clothes fit, (because, hey, it happens!) I worry that my 3.5 year old daughter might pick up on it. I don't want her thinking about that stuff!!
Posted by: Ami Regnier | October 14, 2012 at 09:09 PM
A girlfriend pointed me to Lucky brand jeans earlier this year, and I've never looked back. There are outlets which save you a lot of $$$ -- otherwise, they're pricey (around $100). Their sales staff is expert, and they have a variety of cuts, one that'll fit you for sure -- and they are NOT mom jeans. Thank God. I'd rather have one pair of Lucky jeans than ten pairs that don't look as good.
As for dresses, I've fallen in love with Title 9. They have some great sweater dresses right now, too. Their stuff isn't too young or too old, either. Also spendy but there are sales.
For jewel tone blouses, I like Nordstrom/Nordstrom Rack, esp. Foxcroft brand -- BUT, they don't fit super-great over "real" boobs.
PS -- I've dropped from a size 12 to a size 4 in the past year, so I've been doing a lot of clothes shopping in my now-tiny size, and I still hate it. Since almost all of my wardrobe has to be new, I've voted for a few nicer (more expensive) pieces than a bunch of stuff that doesn't fit or last as well ... and I wish I'd always shopped like that, as I'm giving away shopping bags full of stuff that both didn't look good and that I never really liked ... good luck!
Posted by: Rox | October 14, 2012 at 11:48 PM
Try using a personal shopper. Either the independent type that comes to your home - can be pricey but worth it or the department store (free) type. Either way they are experts and will save you a lot of time and aggravasion. I did this once many years ago and I still use her advice and even still wear some of the pieces she picked.
Posted by: Anita | October 15, 2012 at 07:58 AM
I second the Lucky Jeans recommendation. They are amazeballs.
Did you try an Athleta? They have a variety of clothes and I've always had good luck with their dresses.
Posted by: Karen | October 15, 2012 at 09:02 AM
I have the same body style and LOVE LOVE LOVE Dress Barn. Cute, stylish clothes, excellent jeans (that don't have a 4" rise)and the price is very fair. The clothes don't fall apart after one wash either and the sales help is just that: helpful. Also, Maurices' (a part of Dress Barn) has some "hipper" clothes that are appropriate for women too. I think they also have wider calf boots too. I think I'll go shopping there today too!
Posted by: Beth | October 15, 2012 at 09:13 AM
uhmm, enough with the "too"s!
Posted by: Beth | October 15, 2012 at 09:14 AM
Have you considered doing a session with a Nordstrom (or similar department store) personal shopper? They supposedly work with all price points, and if you know what you are looking for are very helpful. I am considering doing this myself but need to find time to get down to Tysons Corner.
Posted by: amanda | October 15, 2012 at 09:52 AM
JCPenney. I haven't been in that store for years, but on urging from a few friends got everything on my list this weekend.
they have everything you've listed for really nice prices. I was very, very pleasantly surprised.
Posted by: Stephanie ODea | October 15, 2012 at 10:15 AM
I also have enormous calves! Finally bought a pair of wide calf boots from naturalizer and love how comfy they are and the fact they zip up my man calves!
Posted by: emily | October 15, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Oh Carmen, I hear ya'. Add to all of what you said the fact that there are so many just plain ugly clothes in the stores right now and shopping is just a headache!! I second the vote for JCP, if you have on by you. They have changed a lot over the years and I feel they really do have a variety of sizes, styles, etc. to suit almost anyone. And they recently changed their pricing to be idiot-proof - no more running in for the four hours that an item is allegedly on sale. What you see is what you get, prices are marked down regularly and then stay that way. PHEW!! Kohl's is hit or miss for me. I have a short waist and long(ish) legs so finding pants that are long enough but don't have a four inch rise is a challenge. Coldwater Creek has definitely begun to skew toward older women, which you are not, so stay away. J.JIll tends to work in color pallettes, which, if not the right one for you at the time, doesn't help. Also their prices are outrageous!! I used to love Eddie Bauer but then they increased their prices without changing anything else and I just can't justify the cost unless it's on sale, and even then things are often just too much.
What's a woman to do? I agree - it is really hard to find "grown-up" clothes. Sorry, this isn't really helpful, more of a rant, but I wanted you to know you are not alone in your frustration.
Posted by: Sonja | October 15, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Save time and make an appt with a personal shopper at Nordstroms/Lord & Taylor or Bloomingdales.
Ann Taylor has some great colored jeans that have a good stretch to them and a higher rise. Pair them up with a long, neutral color sweater. It's a pretty silohuette.
As for riding boots, try Cole Hahn and look for ones that have the buckles around the calf so you can adjust them as needed.
I found some cute dresses at Lands End Canvas which were well made and less costly than JCrew.
Posted by: JMB | October 15, 2012 at 01:31 PM
I'd recommend Land's End for the button-downs. They have no-iron options, which really are nice! If you have the time to call, I'd start with one of their CSRs, as they will be able to help you determine the right size for you. Their customer service is outstanding and returns are easy via mail or at your local Sears store. I have a couple of their button-downs for work and couldn't be happier
Posted by: Kate | October 15, 2012 at 01:51 PM
I detest shopping with a passion, so I feel your pain. I recommend Land's End, some Sear's stores have their clothes in a small area. Daughter has large calves and bought a pair of boots from Target this year. They fit well and the price wasn't terrible. I avoid shopping until my clothes are falling apart so I wish you luck and send Hugs!
Posted by: Brandy | October 15, 2012 at 03:43 PM
I'm playing in a wind ensemble, something I haven't done in years. We have a concert in less than a month, and I have to go buy concert black. I wore my last concert "tux" for nearly a decade. It was so perfect I cried when I had to finally give it up. And now I have to go shopping for a new one. I'm nearly 6 feet tall, I have broad shoulders, it needs to be pants (I sit front row center), I need something that will allow me to lift my arms (I play flute and piccolo), and it can't be tight because I need to breathe. Oh, and it has to be dirt cheap. Guess how much I'm looking forward to searching for that? I'd have better luck finding a unicorn.
Posted by: Jen | October 15, 2012 at 08:51 PM
Ugh :( Jeans for curvy girls, please tell em when you find them. I like Loft but they sell out quickly. I gave up on high boots, wrap dresses and button up shirts looong ago. I NEED a couple semi casual dresses that are not too short or too long or too clingy or too gappy or too pricey or too busy or too printy.
Posted by: amie | October 15, 2012 at 10:55 PM
Dress Barn-I bought three skirts for church. Tailored, and not too long. They fit my shape, tiny waist, big hips and rear.
They are reasonable priced, and the pants fit us curvy girls.
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | October 17, 2012 at 07:55 PM
For jeans, check out Target. Merona brand style 4, curvy fit.
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | October 17, 2012 at 07:58 PM
Yes! Check out Lane Bryant for the boots. They typically have coupons on FB or their web site, I bought a pair of brown riding boots last year that I just adore. A tailor is a wise investment. I know from your blog sometimes taking care of you isn't in the budget, but if its 1 - 2 items here and there its worth it. Good luck! You continue to be a point of inspiration for me!
Posted by: Krista | October 22, 2012 at 09:43 PM