A Trip, to The Mall, With My Son

I went to the mall with my son yesterday. My son is 20. Closing in on 21 fast, much too fast for me.

I haven't been to the mall with my son alone in many years – I'm not quite sure if I've ever done it before, unless you go all the way back to when he was an infant. Having a big family means there's never just two of you.

I remember the first time I took him to the mall. I had my stroller. I had my sling. My diaper bag was packed full of diapers/wipes/burp cloths/change of clothes for him/diaper ointment – anything one person could possibly need. I had worked at the mall the year before he was born, and my first trip back meant that I was bringing him to show him to my coworkers, most of whom could not have cared less if they ever saw either of us again - I was not so very popular at the JC Penney's.

I put him in the stroller and we walked around. He cried - we stopped. I nursed him, and we walked some more. It was a very short trip, from what I can remember, but I was full of happiness. Here I was, a mom! With the baby! I remember looking at those moms with toddlers and school aged children - how would I *ever* do that? There was so much crying, so much effort, so much juggling - I didn't do any shopping.

I don't think we went to more than two shops, before both of us gave up. It was just too much. Being out with a baby was STRESSFUL.

Yesterday.

Well, yesterday was a much different story.

We took the rail system down, snap chatting with his girlfriend, reading Twitter and Facebook on our respective phones. We walked from the stop to the mall, and he held the door for me. We talked about various, random, and mundane things – politics, grocery shopping, welfare reform, handguns, and soap. None of it really meant anything, but I realized that I was speaking with another adult, albeit a young one. We went to The Body Shop where I bought eye makeup remover. We went to Bath and Body Works, where we bought soap for the kitchen. We stopped in at Lush and sampled products. We went to Harry and David, where we sampled and purchased some of the most delicious coffee I've ever had. We split a sub in the food court, and laughed over the times that I brought him there to play on the play equipment when it was too cold to go outside. We commented on shoes on display, we stopped at the Apple store to look at the new iPhone – in short, it was a very lovely trip.

And we stopped at one more place. We went to the jewelry store, to look for a ring for his girlfriend.

Let that sink into your brain for a minute, let it percolate and fester. The baby that I took to the mall in a stroller, the toddler that I took to the mall with the express purpose of visiting the play place, the little boy I took to the mall to buy new sneakers for – he took me to the jewelry store for my input.

We got a lesson in the three C's, met with a very lovely salesperson, made plans for a future purchase. The trip home featured different, more important topics of conversation that related to the future.

The future that seems so very far away when you are cruising the mall with your baby in a stroller, chasing your toddler, begging your school aged kid to eat just one chicken nugget before you go play in the play structure

becomes a trip to the mall to look at rings.

(Yes, he knows what he's doing. Yes, I know what he's doing. It's a promise, not a vow, and we are all good over here.)

Comments

[Wendy]

Wow, (sniff,sniff) they grow up so fast. As I am lying at home trying to recover from influenza, I have actually thanked God that my kids are grown up enough to take care of themselves and me for the most part the last couple of days. As opposed to when I was pregnant with my youngest and had a 16 month old to take care of and couldn't because I was to sick.

[Megan]

Wait, wait, wait. An Apple store, you say? There's an APPLE STORE in your area? Times HAVE changed.

(Yes, I know, I missed the point. That's wonderful, yet somewhat crazy news. I remember when Nik was a baby. I can't believe he's grown up like this!)

[Katie B. of HousewifeHowTos.com]

Wow, what a poignant trip! My daughter is 21, but thus far I've been spared wedding dress shopping with her. It's coming soon, I'm sure of that, even if she's not. And then... grandbabies!!!!

[kyooty]

YAY!!! I was his age when hubbie was looking at rings. :) I'm excited for you all.

[Paul R]

Soon you will take him to babies are us to shop for a stroller :-)

I wish the best for you son and his lady!!

[Jodie in MN]

Your story has me choked up! I have school aged little ones, my oldest turns 11 soon. These years have gone so fast. I'm sure the next 11 are going to go even faster and I'm not sure I'm ready.

[Stacey B.]

o.k. you just made me cry. Maybe it is the fact that when you have a big family, you still remember your oldesr ones at the ages your younger ones are now, as if it were just yesterday. Well, wasn't it?

Just had a conversation with oldest son who is training to be a lifeguard and will be shadowing someone he knew back when he was considered one of the little kids. He tells me that she has changed and I remind him that he has as well. "no, I haven't, Mommy" << yep still calls me that :). Oh, hon, yes, you have. happy tears

[Annika]

Oh, Carmen! I am all choked up. You're a terrific storyteller.

[Beth]

Awww! My oldest is 22 and isn't ready yet, but I am! Please please please let someone else look after him! Congrats!

[JMB]

Wow! I didn't expect that! I'm happy for all of you:)

[Nicki]

Oh my! Congratulations all around! My oldest will be 21 this year, and he definitely is not ready to be ring shopping. I am thinking at 31 he may still not be ready.

[Issa]

That is so freaking cool. All of it.

I got married at 19. I'd never tell anyone not to do it.

[Mel]

Beautiful fabulous post! Makes me think of the future with my boys, currently 5 & 7.

[Headless Mom]

Wow. Big steps.

[Shannon]

Eye puddles and a tight chest. Mercy! loved it

[mariah]

Beautiful! I did just that with my 20-almost-21-year-old son not too long ago! And he's my youngest....

[addy]

Changes - always changes.....

[Jen]

Oh man, I'm all teary over here. :)

[Soni]

You do have a gift for story telling, Carmen. Believe it. I'm all misty-eyed over here, thinking of my "little" boy, who is 13, and who, in one more inch, will be as tall as me, not yet done growing. It's amazing, overwhelming all at once. I look forward to such times with him, though I will try to enjoy every milestone until we arrive there. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Nelson's Mama]

It's all good...

We got married at 19 and we're here 31 years later...still together, still loving, still fighting, still enjoying our girls and most importantly..still laughing.

[kate]

oh wow! you just made my want to freeze time..my oldest is 14 and growing up much too fast..loss for words here as I realize he is closer to ring shopping (potentially) the to the mall and chicken nuggets and playspaces

[Brandy]

I hope I have a memory/current trip like that to look back on later. I was eighteen when I married. Two kids and twenty years later we are still going strong.

[Kira]

WOW.
Just...WOW.
I hope I deal with it with as much grace when my firstborn is ring shopping. I suspect I will spend more time weeping and annoying him, and end up not invited.