ME: "Hey, you know, it's the strangest thing - I was driving home, and I saw that new fast food place you were talking about the other day - called Cookout? That place was CRAZY busy!"
HIM: "Yeah, the food is off the charts! I had a chicken sandwich from there that was amazing. I know that we are both supposed to be eating healthier, but it was delicious! And I don't think it was too terrible, because I got rid of the bread."
ME: "It was so funny - when I was driving by, my car just TURNED IN TO THE LOT. I couldn't stop it! It was like the car was driving itself or something. I couldn't make the car go straight - I just ended up in the lot. Isn't that funny???"
Silence ensues for 10 seconds.
HIM: "So, are you saying that you are there getting some lunch?"
ME: "Um, yeah. It just smelled so good, and I was so hungry..."
HIM: "Well, get a chicken sandwich. It's actually a pretty healthy choice, and you don't have to eat the bread OR get the fries. Whadidja get?"
ME, slightly prevaricating: "I got a sandwich....."
HIM: "A chicken sandwich? One of those grilled chicken sandwiches? Is that what you are saying?"
ME: "I got a sandwich."
HIM: "A Chicken sandwich?"
ME: "Ok, FINE. I got a cheeseburger. Are you happy now? Do you REALLY think that this is the face and body of someone who eats chicken sandwiches?"
HIM: "Well, just eat the burger then. Don't get the sides. Don't tell me you got the sides...."
ME, swallowing audibly, "Um, fries AND HUSH PUPPIES."
HIM: "HUSH PUPPIES???"
ME, somewhat defensively:" Didn't you hear the REVERENCE in my voice?? Hush puppies! I haven't had those in years, since that restaurant down by the Bay closed - they had the best, but these are almost as awesome."
HIM, sighing:" Well, eat one or two and save the rest for later, or give them to the kids. Remember, we are both supposed to be eating healthier."
ME: <burp> At least I got a Diet Coke??