Mom's Office

I feel like I have to start off this post with a disclaimer. I love my family. I really do love my family.

I cannot stand the fact that no one respects my office.

I've worked from home for several years now, but recently began more than full-time work. So we transformed the dining room into my office. I love it. It's a room in the house dedicated to me, and only me. It should be. I sit in this room upwards of 10 hours a day. The walls are gray, my rocking chair is in here, I'm surrounded by pictures of my family and friends, my desk is a teal table.

In other words, it's a perfect room for me.

It's also the perfect room for everyone else. And apparently, the things that are in here are things that everyone wants more than life itself. I've lost iPod cords, chargers, gel pens, sharpies, tape, notebooks – the list goes on and on. And because it's a room in my house, people walk through it all day long. They have no qualms about coming in, standing right next to me, breathing down my neck, pulling my hands away from the keyboard – doing anything they can to get my attention.They will sit at my desk. People play with my papers. Mess with my space heater. People use my phone, my scissors, mess with my computer – and yes, I do admit to being a bit of a control freak, but dammit, don't mess with my stuff.

I talked to my husband about it today, when I realized that I was missing more stuff than I was comfortable with and my space issues were being seriously compromised. We tossed around several solutions – putting in accordion doors, building in pocket doors, yelling and screaming (which I already do and it totally does not work) -

And he came up with this. Which, kind of looks strange, but I'm hoping it serves the purpose. These signs are suspended from rope and cross both doorways. They have red ribbon attached - and he wrote them. One of my kids thinks that they are rude and dismissive, and that I'm cutting my family out - but I need some space.

And some respect. It's not just a song.

Comments

[Tara]

Great idea. You will probably wish you would have done it sooner! I, on the other hand, would have taken to the kids' rooms, one by one, and sat in there, used their stuff, moved things, make a mess, do some work. See how they like it! haha

[jmb]

My kids are that with my bed - I'll make it and then my 17 year old son will get in under the covers and watch tv while I'm gone. It drives me nuts. Then the girls come to my bathroom and take my razors, shampoo, soap, makeup, blow dryer, flat iron. What can I do other than pad lock my door when I'm not there? Kids invade boundaries. You are not alone!

[Alyssa]

Did you ever see this Cosby Show?

http://www.tv.com/shows/the-cosby-show/clairs-place-12928/

I think you have the right idea-- your work space should be respected by your kids!

[Amy]

Isn't there a phrase about good fences make good neighbors? Same applies to family. Boundaries are good. :)

[Elizabeth]

As a fellow work-from-homer, I think this is great! It can confuse young kids, especially when you go from more to less available, so this makes it clear. As for the older kids... I had to talk with a teenage child who would come up to me while I was on a conference call to get hugs. I lived many years where a request for a hug from a kid would never be denied, but I had a sneaking suspicion these were the most passive-aggressive hugs in the world.

[addy]

Good Plan! Boundries are an absolute necessity.

[amie]

Oh my goodness! I had the same problem when I had my office at home. Now my desk is at the office but same to some extent. Family business, so my kids come in after school plop down at mt desk and play on computer. Um excuse me, I NEED the computer to get my work done so we can go home.

[Haley]

I just found your blog yesterday after a friend tagged me on your "10 Things Not to say to a mom of a large family" list and feel we are kindred spirits :) I also love to read, am a self-confessed control freak, and have 5 children. Thanks for your wonderful posts!! I don't work from home, but homeschooling in the same room as our home office is frustrating at times too. "WHERE'S THE SCOTCH TAPE?" has been hollered more than once. :) Happy day to you, my friend I don't really know!

[LizP]

"don't mess with my stuff" - I know what you mean!

[PamL]

Same problem here. I bought my girls their own TAPE and tape dispenser because mine was always missing. What do you think happened in about 1 week? My tape, gone again. When I asked the culprit why she could not just use her own that I bought her....she couldn't find it!!!!!

Scissors--also another one that drives me nuts. So you know what I did? I bought about 6 pairs from Office Mix and put some in the kitchen, one or two on my desk, one in a drawer, one on the table....now we are not ever short on scissors and I can find a pair when I need them! :)

[Kyooty/Mary]

You are not alone. I don't have an office, other people here do b ut I don't. I wish I did sometimes but I'd have to build a new room.