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Yes YEs YES!!!!!!!! Constantly! It's now almost preventing me from doing ANYTHING. Out with girls....no I won't dance someone might think I look funny. I'd rather quit then try. I'm in a box. I know I'm in a box. I know that probably all the eyes that I think that are going to be on me and judging me are not. Today I bent down a corner of the box just a wee bit and signed up for a 5K in May...the color run. I'm hoping I'm having too much fun to worry about what anyone else might be seeing, thinking or saying about me. Because I too deserve to have fun.


This is something I've been struggling with for a long, long time. Part of it is my own self-image issues, and part of it is old comments from other people that have stuck around for far too long.

I like the idea of turning around the negative voices. I've heard it suggested before, but haven't really done it. It is hard to do. I think I should make a stronger effort to work on it.


Get OUT of my head. Let me give you a great example. We met in person YEARS ago. I adored you -- you are witty and fun and very interesting. I was short, shy, and overwhelmed. To this day when you e-mail me back with your warm and friendly style (that seriously makes me want to go to coffee with you and hang out) I look over my shoulder and wonder if you really mean me.
I'm convinced you really do mean me -- but my inner voice can't wrap her head around it. So, yes. But I so feel like Stuart Smalley -- I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh, darn it, people like me.


Isn't it amazing how the advice your high school or middle-school aged self wold have gotten still applies today? e.g. don't worry about your insecurities - people are so wrapped up in their own that they won't notice your flaws. Who knew that being an adult would be so much like being a kid.


I love the Stuart Smalley reference!
I think most of the time our perceptions of ourselves are different from the way others see us. I struggle so much with this and am going through my own little drama. I've had a hard time at work this year. We have many new hires that "can do no wrong". I am feeling so very inadequate in a climate with many self-promoters. I can only hope that they are too busy trying to get noticed that my insecurities aren't....make sense?


Just to add -- I think we spend a lot of time thinking our insides ought to match other peoples' outsides. My insides (and frankly, my outsides) are never going to match-up. But can't seem to stop trying. URGH.


I think sometimes it shocks us to realize that we're in the same pond with all the other ducks. They want the same things we do. They go through the same things we do.

I bet there were some people there that were surprised you wanted to see them.

Jo Ann

The voice in my head sounds a lot like my husband's...

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.