Helping My Child on the Meandering Path of Learning Differently

One of my kids has learning disabilities. A bunch of them. I prefer to think of them as "differences" rather than "disabilities." A difference just means that this child learns in a different manner, much like driving to a locale by taking an alternate route. You still get there. You just go another way -- maybe it's a more scenic way. Maybe your travel path meanders and, along the way, you see a cool stream and you stop and put your feet in and catch some fish for lunch and then you take a nap and you eventually get to where you were going, but a bit later.

And now you can probably see how my kids all learn in a different manner. They come by it honestly. SQUIRREL!

All kidding aside, when your kid learns differently than other people, it can be a super real challenge. You might have a fantastic teacher, one who thinks outside the box and explores alternate ways to learn and it might be the best school year ever. But the next year, your child might be assigned to a teacher who yells and is rigid about a quiet classroom, with all students in their seats and quiet and every piece of learning is done by the book.

One thing that I've found that really works for my ADD kid -- who has the inattentive type of ADD, and trust me when I say that I struggled with that diagnosis for, I'm not kidding -- five years -- is determining ways to make success within reach. I have to find ways to help this child succeed. Instead of trying to solve the problem, I look at what I want the result to be -- and work backwards. Which sounds like the exact same thought, but it's not.

Child has homework to do but cannot remember to bring home books. Instead of reminding child to bring home books, I think about the end result: I want the child to be able to do the work at home. Getting the books home is the issue, so I sign out a second set of books from the school. This way, we can still get the work done, and if the book doesn't make it home, well, it's not the end of the world.

Child also has a pack up buddy. And I've insisted that this child be allowed an extra two or three minutes to pack up at the end of the day, in order to verify that all of the books and notebooks are taken.

The best piece of equipment, though, is a little piece of paper that my father created. My father was a high school teacher and he saw many kids who struggled. He created a sheet of paper for my son - it looks like this:

 

He put the Lego guys on the top because this kid loves Legos, but you could put anything you wanted on your own version. The side says "subject" and I fill that in weekly. The child is responsible for writing down the homework and what books, notebooks, copybooks, etc are required. At the end of the day, I have requested in the accommodations form that the teachers take a minute to look over this sheet and sign off. Which, yes, does make work for the teachers, but at the end of the day, if it helps the child succeed -- well, isn't that what we are all working towards?

There are other accommodations, tricks, tips and secrets that we use for this child. That's not to say that everything has been amazing, though. I wish I could say that I've "solved the puzzle!" and we know EXACTLY how to make this work, but we don't and it's an ever-evolving mix of "Let's try this!"

And in dealing with learning disabilities, for us -- that seems to be the way to go.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

This Charlie gets an agenda and the first thing he is supposed to do every morning is write down the homework assignment. This teacher has it written on the board before class starts. Fingers crossed this works!

[Kyooty/Mary]

I love this idea!!!

[Headless Mom]

that's a great idea! I hope it works!

[Megan]

These are all great ideas! I used to work with kids who had learning differences and saw how they struggled when teachers just weren't willing to budge. I feel for your son.

I used to struggle with bringing home the right books. In middle school, it got worse because I'd go to my locker and had about 10 seconds to grab what I needed and get to my bus, so I started writing down the subjects in which I had homework on my hand. It sounds stupid and looked ridiculous, but it worked. Some kids just opened their locker, grabbed one book and ran off, and I never understood how they could do that.

[Janyll]

I actually bought(used)copies of every text book for my ADHD kid. Her backpack was lighter and she was able to underline and make notes on the pages--really helped, and it you are willing to accept books that are a bit dilapidated, very inexpensive.

[Jackie Parker]

Great post, so glad your Dad is so involved with helping with your children. Also, very impressed with you willing to try new ideas!
I wish you and all your little ones a great year in school this year.
I suspect your patience with the children will help you in dealing with your Father-in-law.

[leftofordinary]

Funny I should come across this post tonight, as I am looking up what is "normal" attention span for kids. I am having some concerns about my 9 yr old - mostly inattention - and wondering what to do about it.

[Web Fortune Masters Online]

Hi, i think that i saw you visited my web site so i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to improve my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

[full body cleanse]

constantly i used to read smaller content that also clear their motive, and that is also happening with this piece of writing which I am reading at this place.