The house is dark. It is quiet. It's 4:27, and I'm wide awake.
I can't sleep. I know it's stress. There's too much on my mind, not enough hours in the day, yadda yadda.
When I went to the dentist yesterday, the hygienist looked at me - condescendingly, over the top of her mask (really, is there any other way, I think that hygienists are taught to make you feel like absolute crap about your oral hygiene no matter what your habits might be - and I FLOSS DAILY, for the love of Pete!)
And she said - Has anyone ever told you that you grind your teeth? Yes, I've heard that since I was a teen. Well, you need a night guard. Yes. I know. I broke an over the counter one, so I need a custom fit. Well, why haven't you gotten one yet?
Gee. I dunno. I think maybe I'm waiting until I grind a tooth into powder. You know, just for fun.
Stress, man. Stress will kill you. I'm trying to remember the self help lessons I've been taught in therapy - no shame in admitting I've been to therapy, I often wonder if there's a person alive who hasn't - I try to eat well, drink plenty of water, make time for me, sit in the quiet and just meditate, avoid caffeine after 4 pm, get to bed early, use melatonin, no tv watching or devices for an hour before bed, get at least a bit of exercise -
Although the plans I had for the summer and my exercise didn't hold out so well. I've not done one Crossfit since the middle ofJune and only 3 ballet classes total. I haven't walked since the day I gave myself a good, solid case of heat exhaustion. Every week, I write up my plans and exercise is the first thing to be listed - and it's always the first thing that has a conflict and has to disappear.
It's the sleep part that proves ever elusive. My brain just canNOT shut off and I pop wide awake between 3 and 5.
Blergh. This has been one tough summer. Here's hoping the fall will be easier.