Occasionally, I will amuse myself by imagining what the notes say on the chart when I take my kids to the doctor. I'm pretty sure that they all start off with, "This mother is whack. Any trouble that this child has, just look at the mother." I always second guess myself - should this kid go to the doctor? Is this a serious illness, or will I feel like a fool when I leave the office?
That feeling goes all the way back to a time when, as a young mom, I took a baby with a bleeding diaper rash to the pediatrician - and he made fun of me, grabbing the tube of ointment from my hand and muttering under his breath about "Young people have no business having babies" and stomping out of the room.
This, coincidentally, is the same doctor who, when giving one of my kids a disk of medicine, told me it looked like a container of birth control pills - but, being that I had so many kids (I had just told him I was pregnant with #6) I had no concept of that - and gave me a "prescription for rest" to hand over to my husband -
Yeah. He's no longer our doctor. It took me a while to become strong enough in my principles, but I eventually did get there.
But I always second guess myself - always. And my kids have caught me, more than once - I've heard It's just a virus, let it run it's course more times than I've heard Your grocery bill is a 6 digit number with a decimal point.
Which might explain this note that I sent to my son's teachers today:
So you take your kid to the urgent care and have an X-ray done, to find out that your kid has a micro fracture in the side of his foot - but the good news is that it's already partially healed and so he will only have to wear the really ugly hard soled shoe, sit out of PE with a doctors note and avoid running at recess (hahahahahaaa) for a week.
Just in case anyone wonders why he's limping and wearing a blue velcro shoe on his left foot.
And, for today, and the next week, I get to wear the "Worst Mom" crown.