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Lost my husband in 2012 and went through the normal stages of grief. However, it seems that I have a harder time now than when he first died. I cried all Thanksgiving Day and I know Christmas will be awful but it's a process and one that I have to live through and I will. I have lots of good friends and children and grandchildren who support me fully but when I close the door at night and get into that lonely bed....it sucks!


I was in a drugstore after my Mom passed away. I heard someone humming and I lost it. My Mom was always humming whether she was happy or mad. Now when I hear someone humming it makes me think of her and I like the memory but it took a long time. I was only 35 when she passed away. It does get better.

Jodie in MN

I lost my dad in 2011. He smoked like a chimney. I hate everything about smoking and used to get so mad at him that he wouldn't quit. Now, every once in a while, I'll catch a whiff of someone smoking what must have been my dad's brand and it stops me in my tracks. What I wouldn't give to smell it on him one last time.


I am so sorry! My grief took over me when Daniel turned 13 this pas September. Why? His twin brother, Sam, as not here to turn 13 with him and we did not get to celebrate them together. Now mind, when Daniel was born, it was discovered he was a twin....mono-mono twins. Sam passed away because he was too small and didn't get enough nutrients as they shared a cord together. I never got to see or hold Sam, so we know of him, but never really grieved because he didn't seem real. Until they would have turned 13. My boys always remember Sam and tell everyone about him....not much, but of their love for him and how much they miss him. Their grief is so real and has been all these years.

Karen at A Glimpse Into My Reveries

Grief is hard, both in the effort to wade through it but also hard as in having a hard, cutting edge.

Know that others feel your pain and let slip a tear on your behalf.

You put into word well the feelings I am having at the moment of being without my mother at this time of year. She was the center of our Christmas celebration, our whole family-life. My mother, confidant, mentor, my best friend. For all but these past five years, my husband and our three children and I took to I-5 on Christmas Eve that we would wake up Christmas morning at Gramma Sanna's. I have big shoes to fill in giving my father and my husband and kids a loving and memory filled Christmas season.

My Christmas wish for you is that you are able to enjoy your memories of your beloved father-in-love and sister-in-love without pain, but instead with renewed courage. Merry Christmas!


It just takes time to heal, lots and lots of time. My dad died 8 1/2 years ago and if I see him in an old home video even now, I cry. Death is just such a strange thing to the living....to see someone alive and well in a video, knowing how they lived and then died, it's just so emotional.


Grief steals in on silent feet and smacks us upside the head when least expected. My mom passed away over eleven years ago and I still miss her terribly. Hugs for you.


BIG HUGS to you, Carmen. I have been fortunate enough not to lose anyone in my immediate family . . . yet. My mom, however, has been battling cancer for 5 years - 2 rounds of chemo so far - and just found out she will go for round 3 shortly. Also now knows that the best she can hope is to keep beating it into remission for a while, but it is not "curable". So yeah, I have been through a certain level of grief, grieving for the woman she once was but can never be again, but the worst is yet to come. Okay - not meaning to unload on you, just wanting you to know that I think grief is something that sneaks up on us. Embrace it and move on. You can't fight it.


I heard someone say recently that grief is the pain that the living must endure, it is so true. Lost my sister and dad right before Christmas two years ago and so many things remind me of them on a daily basis. My hubby lost his father Christmas Day thirty years ago and he just admitted he still grieves, I thought it would get easier lol. I am sorry for your loss.


Losing my brother so suddenly in October 2012 was devastating. I was just having a discussion about grief hitting you in weird places today with girls in my grief bible study. For me it was looking at green peppers and onions in the frozen aisle at BJ's. You just never know where its going to hit you. Hang in there. Look up Griefshare and see if they offer a program near you. It has helped me tremendously. I am not over it and never will be but it has helped me deal. There is also a new song our by Luke Bryan in memory of his siblings. It gets me everytime.

Daniel Shelton

My name is Daniel Shelton; I am a social worker and grief counselor for a hospice in Las Vegas, NV. I have a Google Alert set on my computer for grief and grieving and recently your thoughts popped up. I am always looking for personal thoughts and experiences that might prove useful to those I serve and wanted to thank you for having the courage to share your difficult experiences. I wish you the best of luck in your personal healing and if there is anything I might be able to do to assist please don’t hesitate to ask.


Daniel Shelton, LSW, MSW
Family Home Hospice
Bereavement Counselor/Coordinator
8655 S Eastern
Las Vegas, NV 89123
[email protected]

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  • WANTED, Carmen, mom to the Masses, for dangerous undertakings inside and outside the home. Last seen with her partner The Hubster, and six accomplices (Nikolas 20, Allegra 18, Mackenzie 15, Gabriel 13, Emma 10 and Riley 9). This fugitive is considered armed (with epi pens and inhalers) and dangerous, especially when she hasn't had her morning coffee. She is particularly difficult to recognize due to an 80 pound weight loss and has been known to hide beneath large piles of laundry. She has her Black Belt in Muay Thai and can be found reading, training Crossfit, boxing or running to the store for milk and bread. And coffee. Always the Coffee.