I love the game show Jeopardy!
I watch very little tv, but that show is a rare miss for me. (I watch it while I'm cleaning up the kitchen/badgering people to pack their lunches/bullying people to pack up, already) There are many, many nights when I do very well, and some nights I am the dumbest thing breathing. But it's all in fun - I love to play quiz games.
My husband is a super singer. Sings all the time, in every situation. I do as well - but no one actually, you know, WANTS to hear me sing. People actually pay him - weddings and funerals and the like - he cantors at church and everyone loves his voice.
About two years ago, maybe a bit less, my kids' music teacher invited us to join a musical group. They meet weekly in a local restaurant and everyone sits in a circle. When it's your turn, you choose the song and either play it on the instrument you've brought or sing - it's a ton of fun. We went quite a bit, but it became fairly difficult to balance with work and kids and school. We both really love it - and every once in a while, I might sing along. Quietly. Or loudly, if everyone else is a - drunk and b- singing loudly as well.
It's really difficult to get out of the house and not feel like I've been penalized when I come home - or the next morning. The amount of prep work I do for the next day is, um, impressive. And when I don't do it, due to hubris or exhaustion or a combo of both - I suffer.
Tonight was the opening night for Pub Quiz night - an activity in which the singing group participates. I decided to go, even though no one really knows me in the group. I wanted to have something to do that was just for me. An activity in which I wasn't signing forms, policing arguments, folding laundry and the yadda yadda that makes up my day. I wanted to interact with grown ups, answer fun and insanely difficult questions, and have a bit of fun.
On the way there, though, I almost turned around and went home. After all, I didn't know anyone. I had no idea what I was doing going to this event.
You have to understand how tough it is for me the next day if I've been out at night. It has to really, really be worth it. I mean, REALLY worth it. And this? I wondered if it would be worth it.
Of course, I immediately got off on the wrong foot by inadvertently insulting the oldest woman in attendance, one who absolutely loves my husband and just, you know, tolerates me. But I stuck it out.
I knew about, I think, 5 of the answers. There were 7 sets of 10, and our team didn't even place.
But I had a good time, and I'll go back next week. And maybe, just maybe, it'll get easier and I won't feel awkward and out of place and like I desperately need a husband or a kid to hide behind - I'm rusty in the people skills department.
I need to force myself to join again.