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I hear you. My oldest set are 22, 19 and 17-- coming and going (across town and the country and the world) They are looking at college and not college and auditions and scholarships and one is so shy and they have strong strong opinions, and health concerns and flaky friends that let them down. They are finding ways to make money and be artists. They make huge messes int he kitchen and keep the little one up by being loud at night. They are my best friends. But there's nothing I can do about any of it, and only occasionally do I want to. I want them to be more disciplined, less uptight, more social, talk less, think before they talk, be braver and wiser than they could be at their age. Happy and safe is what I pray for. It's really hard to let go.


Oh, Carmen, such a wonderful post today! I have felt this way for a long time and my girls are only 8 and 11. We have such high hopes as parents and forget that it's not our life to live. They need to make those mistakes and do the things that you don't want them to do. It is so very heartbreaking. But also intriguing because we get to see what they become. By the way, love the comment about the bathroom mirrors.


I agree with having kids working against you when you are a control freak. However, the one thing I learned to let go of control a long time ago was my kids' dreams. I always tell them that they can be whatever they want to be and that all I ask is that they do the best that they can. Of my seven, so far I have kids that want to be an architect, veterinarian, dancer, and zoologist. I have never wanted to be any of these at any point in my life.


Love this. So very hard to do though. I have one who is in college for something that shocked me that she wanted to do, one that is giving up a sport that used to be his absolute favorite, and one that just doesn't know what she wants to do. My 11 year old has been dancing for 6 years, now is debating what she wants to do next year as a 7th grader. Does she want to dance, cheer, or play volleyball. Or all three. The 10 year old has been a baseball nut for 4 years, but has now decided baseball is not for him and he wants to only play basketball and football. With football being first choice. Okaaay, whatever you want has become my mantra lately. They have to make their own choices, whether I think they are correct or not. And at age 10 and 11, they have an awful lot of time to make those decisions and more. Knowing all this doesn't necessarily make it easy to bite my tongue.


I wish for a private FB group or something to talk with other moms of teen and young adult kids. I rarely come across anyone writing about it much-- it's a whole new stage of parenting. We have to protect their privacy, but we need support too! Does anyone have a place to connect like that?


And it's hard to write about it because it's not our lives to share so to speak. hugs!

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.