Sooooo, I was reading Facebook, like I do 394757383 times a day - it's the curse of working online in Social Media, your Facebook is open all the danged day and I am super ADD and distracted and
one of my friends posted that she just - was giving up. She was done. She was done being an adult. Done with all of it.
This is me. Almost all the days.
But I started thinking about being an adult, and I think it's pretty cool. After all, hypothetically speaking, I can do what I want, right? I mean, if I was to spend the entire day in bed watching House of Cards - yes, I'm addicted, and don't blame me (I'm on Season 3 and UGGGGHHHH) and eat Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake and Chips and Queso and Guacamole and Martinis - well, I'm an adult, and I can do that. I could skip out of work and hang out at the beach all day and read three books.
It's maybe not so advisable. But, technically, I could do that.
When I was a kid, I thought that's what adults did. They just, you know, did what they wanted. They could buy what THEY wanted at the grocery, make what THEY wanted to eat for dinner, go to bed at whatever hour THEY decided. no one told the adults that they couldn't watch Saturday Night Live.
I started to think about the things I never realized I would need to know as a grown up, and I realized I couldn't separate what I wish I'd known before as an adult vs. as a parent. (I mean, really - think about it - is your adulthood separate from your parenthood, if you are a parent? For me, it was a super hard distinction that I'm still not certain I've made - I started having kids when I was 22, so in many ways, I was a baby and still growing up myself)
I came up with a couple:
- I never knew how much how much coffee and makeup - good makeup, not CoverGirl ands Elf - I'd need as I aged.
- I never knew how much money I'd need to just be able to be comfortable - and how that figure could stretch like elastic - seriously, I used to make much less money, and I have NO idea how I made it. Well, I *did* live in an area where pizza delivery people were forbidden to deliver and I saw a man get beat to death with a baseball bat by a gang outside my window - it was a much cheaper area of town, so that might be a portion of how I spend my money now as an adult.
- I never realized that all this "free time" I had - it's not my own free time. Every time I have this ubiquitous "free time" - something fills it.
- I wish I had known that NO ONE knows what it means to be an adult - every single person, no matter how skilled they look - is TOTALLY FAKING IT.
But then I started to think about things we all wish we'd known before we became adults, and I asked on Facebook. My friends, of course, because they are completely awesome and no, I don't pay them to be my friends and yes, they outclass me in every way - came up with some great ideas.
How to be financially responsible. How stressful being a parent is (if you a trying to raise a good member of society. ..Not just a thug or lazy bones).
That you really can survive just about anything and would not have been so worried about what people thought about me.
Things in life will not always come easy....you have to work at them constantly.
Nothing and Nobody is worth compromising yourself for.
how much emotional strain there would be - (OMG, yes - I'm always and forever feeling all emotional and shit about SOMETHING, it's absolutely exhausting.)
Its OK to be wrong.
That being an adult was so damn expensive. (YES times a million for this, since I just got my first CROWN. And going out with friends just for a night can set me back $40, easy.)
There is a ton of wisdom there. Most of what people told me, though - it centered on two things. Being financially responsible - which, ugh, it's so much more fun to buy music and books and good coffee than a new heating system and an impressively amazing hot water heater.
The other constant, the topic most all referenced at least obliquely? No one else knows what they are doing, no one is watching you, and stop worrying about other people.
Turns out, we are all too busy worrying about our own selves.