Waaaaaaaaayyyyy back in 2010, I tore my gastrocnemius muscle on my right leg while working to earn my black belt in Muay Thai. I was doing banded sprint runs in a additional workout, and the large band was attached to the pole on the boxing ring. I ran against it and as I got to the end of the gym and lifted my leg to run backwards -
I heard a pop and all of a sudden, my leg was useless. I quickly lifted my leg, and the band yanked me backwards and I slammed into the pole with my right side. Despite the fact that I could not walk on it without severe pain, and my right side quickly turned black and purple
I walked on it for ten days.
Well, I didn't really walk on it. I mostly pulled my leg around behind me. I cried whenever no one was looking. I covered my leg in Ben-Gay and Tiger Balm and massaged it every spare minute I had. I avoided looking at it, though. I knew it had to be bad - the rest of my body was all different colors and I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. The pain was horrific. Finally, on day ten, my boss came into the back store room (I was working in the school cafeteria at the time, on concrete floors) and saw me crying. She sent me home with orders to go to the dr and not come back to work until I'd done so.
When I got to the sports orthopedist appt, he sent me for an x-ray. When I put my leg on the table, and I painfully pulled my jeans up, the techs in the room gasped - my leg was immensely swollen, black and green and purple.
When I hurt myself, I do it up right. No half measures here.
I left the office diagnosed with an 80% tear and wearing a great big black boot - which I wore for the next five months. After that, I went to months and months of PT and then started the long, arduous process of the black belt cycle. And on a run for time, I heard the same pop - and a visit back to the same sports ortho diagnosed me with another tear - this time 50%, my odds were better - and the offer for surgery to repair it. I declined that, and the dr told me that he was ok with that - after all, I don't make my living running - and repeated the boot and PT thing.
Now, five years later, I'm mostly recovered - but my days of running are well behind me. I hate my calf, though. If I had it to do over again, I'd take the surgery. That muscle is weak - if I do a lot of jumping, running, or tons of calf raises, I pay for it in a big way later.
And that super sucks, because I used to have really nice, well defined calves. Which is the grand scheme of things is SUPER RIDICULOUS and UBER VAIN.
But when I go to the gym, and one station is calf raises, and I really don't want to modify, because I want to have good looking calves, and so I power through and do them anyway - and the next three days I don't do any exercise because my leg hurts AGAIN - how stupid does one person need to be, anyway? How vain?
Or if I decide to take ballet class, which I love - about half way through I just have to - stop, because my right leg just wimps out. I can't do a million turns, multiple jumps, or lots of balancing - the muscle can't take it.
It is SO FRUSTRATING.
There are very few things in my life I'd do over - but those stupid banded sprint runs are #1. And I only did them because the instructor that day taunted me and told me I was wimpy for avoiding it - and hubris, man, it gets me smack in the ass every.single.time.
The ever present theme in my life is apparently pig headed stupidity and hubris.