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Comments

Wendy Egli

Ok, my very first thought is - who the hell told you that you are fat and boring? Why are there even people in your life that talk to you like that?

Besides that, I do get it. I think we are ALL our own worst critics and to have someone else actually voice our own thoughts just seems to reinforce those thoughts to us. I don't have any idea how to prevent the thoughts, or other people being rude/stupid enough to say something so incredibly stupid. I wish I did. It would make my life much easier. So far the only thing I have found that helps at all is antianxiety meds. I would never sleep if I didn't take them.

If you figure out how to stop them, please share.

PS, in my opinion, you take fabulous pictures, you are beautiful, and are definitely NOT boring.

Susan

I'm with Wendy, who had the audacity/complete lack of manners to tell you that? Horrible, sorry you had to deal with that. On the plus side, you have the self-awareness to realize that your internal dialogue is doing you no favors and perhaps that's the first step in silencing it. On the OTHER plus side, tomorrow I'm making my third batch of sausage cheddar muffins because my kids love them that much. Thank you for bringing them into my life!

suburbancorrespondent

Totally get it. And, yeah, I can list a number of medical situations with the kids where, despite my best efforts, I dropped the ball. I'm not proud of it, but there you are. I do think that self-acceptance is the greatest gift you can give yourself, sort of an "I'm flawed, but that's okay" attitude. So, every time you start to think, "I'm stupid" or "I'm incompetent," it helps to replace it with "I'm human."

Elizabeth

I have managed to move towards the positive. It's a work in progress and some times are better than others. My weapons were focusing on the positives (as a gratitude thing) and when hearing negatives from others I reminded myself it was about them and not me (the forgiveness thing). Good luck! I will also chime in to say I don't think you are fat or boring either. But, do you? Nobody else's opinion really matters, even mine.

maggie

Lovely words above and I couldn't have responded better. I'm so sad that someone said that to you, it's pretty shocking, really. We are our own worst critics for sure. Self love in 2017 sounds great! Be kind to yourself, you're doing just fine:)
Sorry about your your sister in law:(

Amanda

Please find someone, a counselor, a trusted friend, someone who can help you learn to love yourself and give yourself grace. You are an amazing, funny, intelligent, kind superwoman. Don't let anyone, especially YOU, tell you otherwise.

Liz

It is not the same level, but one of my kids lost his gym shirt. He can only wear the gym shirt. I took the house apart looking for it, hated how the clothes were organized, etc., started hating the whole world. Then I stopped myself and realized it was worth the $10 to have him buy a new shirt vs. creating that negative energy. So, instead of continuing the spiral, I sat on the couch reading. Here is why I bring this all up. You are one person. You can not have your hand in every aspect of each of your kids. It is a medical device that you need to stay on top of, yes, so it is a priority. However, several mistakes were made and now you know and can take steps to prevent these mistakes in the future. If anyone tries to berate you for this, tell them to stop and ask them to help monitor this situation with you (and it may be good to have some of your older kids be a part of the checking too--it is good experience). If you (or anyone) feels like a failure as a parent, I recommend reading the Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. You will never get down to that level of parenting failure; be gentle with yourself and cut yourself some slack. I've been working on enjoying the journey. These moments of chaos are a part of the journey and make the slower days something I appreciate more. I'm sorry about your Sister in Law's death. I am so sorry. You are rocking all of this. Keep on keepin' on.

Soni

That's a great goal and one that I am going to try to adopt as well. My 19 year old daughter was home on break from school for three weeks and she began pointing out every time I put myself down. That helped, a lot. Would any of your children do that for you, tell you to stop it if they hear you being negative? Because I agree - a lot of it is not raising your kids, especially your daughters, to self loathe. My daughter is not perfect by any stretch but she loves herself and I am trying to learn from her. So, so sorry about your husband's sister.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.