I worked a funeral this week for my church mentor, Edith. She was a fantastic, wonderful woman who worked as a sacristan, was at church every single day and for just about every single Mass, and was unfailingly cheerful, friendly, and just - overall, an amazing person.
When the priest gave the homily, he said the following about Edith:
When I saw that Edith was in charge at an event, I knew it was going to go well. I knew that I could relax and enjoy, because she was here to make sure that everything went smoothly. She was exceptionally organized.
These three sentences are not three sentences that could be attributed to me.
I try to be organized, and in fact, I think I am reasonably organized. Reasonably being the key word in that sentence. I have a big wall calendar - this was the first year for the BIG calendar, and I told my husband today that this was a great thing that I need to move forward with for next year - and I cross check it with my Google calendar and everything, literally everything, goes on both of those. I use my phone for every damned thing under the sun.
(I have to tell you that the thought that a big family is one of chaos and disorganization is an exponential driving force in my life. I know that the stereotype of a big family is out of control people running willy-nilly all over the place, wearing out of season clothing, with mismatched socks and unbrushed hair, drinking milk from the carton and eating donuts for breakfast. So I have always, always worked extra diligently to make sure that my kids look pulled together and have the things that they need to succeed. I have, in many instances, taken a lot of time to keep my kids on the same level as their peers who don't have siblings or have a smaller family. I have never wanted it to be said that my kids suffered because they came from a larger than typical family size. Having one of my children tell me that she had been told in a meeting that she wasn't going to be allowed to say that she didn't have the correct socks or her homework wasn't done because of her big family - well, truth be told, that got under my skin. Because I have never, ever told my kids to say that, and if I had ever heard of them using that excuse - I'd probably need to be arrested for my response. That day my kid told me that she was told that - well, I had to remind myself that not every thing is about me and let it go, because I almost, almost lost my cool over it.)
Anyway. Sorry, I got fired up there. Moving on. Segue.
I hope to be a person people can rely on. I want to be that person, the one who holds it together, the one who makes sure things are done when they need to be done anyhow they need to be done. I want to be the person people are happy to see at events, because they know that I will bring something to the table, something meaningful and constructive, something tangible.
I just wonder if that can be done when there are still kids in the house.
Are the two things counter?