Life: 1 million, Carmen: a big fat 0.
I feel like, in every aspect of my life, I am a failure right now. Almost every kid in my house is having trouble with asthma. Maybe if I had been more on top of that, we wouldn't be sucking so much albuterol right now. I've got a stack of prescriptions in hand, and anyone who wonders where the money went last month – just look for the pharmacy receipts.
One of my kids is struggling in school. Maybe, if I had been more on top of that, the grades would be better. The self-confidence would be better. The student wouldn't feel as if every teacher hated him.
My writing has left me. I feel abandoned by the muse.
Every single day, we are out of something VITAL at the store. EVERY DAY.
I have almost no desire to exercise. I haven't been to Zumba class, other than once, in more than three months. Frankly, I do not have time for the drama and cattiness that occurs. I try to walk at least four times a week, but it feels like a punishment, a slog, and I can't wait to be done with it.
We seem to specialize in mouthy and self-centered lately. No family does mouthy and self centered quite as well, I'm convinced.
Everyone keeps asking what I want for Mother's Day, and my inbox is full of Mother's Day pitches. But I'm not quite sure how to tell everyone that what I really want for Mother's Day is a nap. And not to have to do one single dish, one piece of laundry, pick up one single thing. And that doesn't mean no one does it, and i do double on Monday. I want it all done by SOMEONE NOT ME.
Wow. I'm pretty negative lately. It's no wonder my readership has gone down – I don't even want to read me. But I've always been committed to telling the truth, even if it's not flattering, or filled with puppies, unicorns, and rainbows.
I did do one thing right. We did this this weekend:
And then we did this this weekend as well:
And then, somehow, my oldest boy turned 21. I remember being 21. If I can remember it, how can he BE it?
I think I need to get out to the beach more. In fact, I think we ALL need to get out to the beach more.