Toolbox for Dads DVD

A companion to the Fathering Your School Age Child book, reviewed below, by the same author.

My husband is father to nine children.  He has a tremendous amount of knowledge when it comes to children, and yet, when it comes to babies, he's a bit unsure.  A bit uncomfortable.  Armin Brott has devoted an entire website, as well as live podcasts, a parenting newspaper column, and he teaches classes and has appeared on national television shows.

Broken down into four sections, entitled "Introduction", "What Do Babies Do?", "What Do You Do with a Baby?" and "Life with a Baby", this 118 minute dvd is a recording of a Father's parenting class.  At the very beginning, the speaker, author Armin Brott, mentions that there are two parents in the relationship, and no matter how frustrated and uncomfortable you are, there is another person feeling exactly the same - and he refers to this person as the wife.  Interspersed with black and white clips from the fifties, the overwhelming feeling that I got from watching this video is one of CALM.  Brott takes each struggle, be it crying or difficulty breastfeeding or how to change a diaper, and breaks them down in a no nonsense, you can do it, style.

"What do Babies Do?"  The short answer he gives - nothing.  That's true, and yet not true, and he explains the reality of passive alert - the staring straight ahead stillness that babies do, which can really overwhelm a brand new uncertain parent.  He backs this up with facts and a really interesting scientific study.  Brott, whose style is engaging and reassurring, spends some time discussing crying.  Knowing that there are different types of cry, and letting the fathers know some calming techniques that help, to me is one of the greatest clips on this dvd.  Just that two minutes alone will help a new father feels much more confident and comfortable.

Brott speaks to the reality of being so angry at your child, due to excessive crying, that you'd toss your baby under the steamroller just to get them to STOP.  He validates the feelings, and gives many techniques to calm yourself and your baby down.  He talks about how to support breastfeeding, how to tell if your child is getting enough milk, and does a great section on why cloth diapers are better than paper.  Being a lover of the cloth diaper, this was a not often seen bonus.  I would have liked my husband to see this section so that he could have heard the benefits from someone other than his nagging wife.

The information in this dvd is up to date and valid - back to sleep, no bumper pads on the crib, how to co sleep safely.  Brott discusses the financial side of having a baby, a scary prospect that doesn't come up all that often even among friends. He talks about making do with a bit less in order to spend more time with your baby.   Probably the section that does the greatest service to new dads, though, is the Intimacy discussion, or discussion of the lack thereof.  He deals with it in a heartfelt, easy to relate to style that I think most dads will really appreciate.  Knowing that you aren't the only one "not getting any", and learning it from another guy, could help alleviate arguments in the future.

This is a great dvd, and I highly recommend it to any expectant fathers in the crowd.  You can purchase it at Brott's website,  mrdad.com. I'm also giving my copy away  - leave a comment if you are interested!

Many, many thanks to the lovely ladies over at The Parent Bloggers for giving me the opportunity to review this dvd!

Comments

[Erika Smith]

I would love to give my husband this DVD. We already have a four month old girl, but it sounds like this has some techniques he would find helpful.

[colleen]

This sounds like it would be good for my sister and her husband -- she is due tomorrow with her first child.

colleen

[Lisa]

Here I am again! Hoping that I may get this DVD for my neighbors that are expecting in January ...

[carmen]

Colleen, your number was drawn. Please contact me with your address at momtothescreamingmassesATgmailDOTcom

[colleen]

Thank you very much. I received it yesterday, and I hope my brother-in-law enjoys it. We're still waiting for the baby -- she'll be induced early next week if she doesn't have it before then.