What Matters to Me

This is sponsored content from BlogHer and Bayer One A Day Multivitamins.

Balance. It's a tricky, tricky concept that I'm still struggling with.

i had a small nervous breakdown last year. I didn't end up hospitalized, or medicated - but what I had was enough, thank you very very much. I was in therapy for a good long while, and while crying your eyes out is uncomfortable - especially for a non touchy/feely person such as myself - it was oddly cathartic and after a while, I actually began to look forward to my sessions.

It's ok. I'm weird. You can say it, I can take it.

One thing that Betsy helped me to see was that my entire life, the way I dealt with my kids and my family and my responsibilities, was extremely out of balance. I have to balance 6 kids, 2 cross country schedules, 4 soccer schedules, 1 ji jitsu, 4 muay thai students, 2 part time jobs, a hubby who works 80+ hours a week, doctor visits, laundry, groceries - um, I think I'd better stop listing before I fall apart again. I have an obsession with things being done correctly, and I'm also not very tolerant of things not being done MY WAY. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I had to learn to give up the perfection, let go and let other people, accept the (possibly imperfect) help and just relax.

I'm still working on it.

But having struggled, I know now that I need to take the time to figure out what matters to me. What really matters to me. It can't ALL matter to me. I can't give everything the same level of importance. Different things are important to different people. To some, seeing the latest movies, knowing the latest gossip and wearing the latest fashions are what matters to them. To others, being seen doing just the right thing with just the right people is what matters to them. To me, spending time doing things with my family, teaching my kids the necessary skills for not just living but ENJOYING their lives as adults - those are the things that matter to me. it matters to me that my family has healthy, nutritious meals, so I spend time focusing on that. It's not so important to me that their socks be paired up and into the correct drawer, so I don't focus on that. There's no shame in it, though, if that's what matters to you, for that's the beauty of life - we are all individuals.

Sponsored by Bayer, the What Matters to you Microsite, the “My Tree matters tool” is designed to help women manage goals, wellness and life balance.  An interactive, fun and very cute tool designed to help you visualize your goals and help you in your endeavor for balance, one of the greatest features is your ability to interact with your friends trees. Simply chose one of the eight areas you might like to work on - career, creativity, leisure, lifestyle, money, relationships, health or spirituality - set your goals and share with your friends and family. It's a wonderful visual reminder of the importance of keeping ALL areas of your life in balance and helping clear through the muck and determine what matters to you.

And, sometimes, that visual reminder is a necessary part of your life. I know it is for me.

Thanks to Blogher and the What Matters to You program, I'm giving away a $150 gift card to help you in your endeavors for balance. To enter, leave me a comment, telling me what matters to you more. Is it school? Work? Cooking healthier meals or getting that project filed on time? What is the area of your life that matters the most to you? An extra entry can be earned for blogging, twitter or facebook. (Not following me on twitter yet? I'm @mttsm.)

Check out the main page on Blogher for 5 more chances to win $150. See Official Rules. This sweepstakes is open from 8/11/2010 to 9/11/2010 and closes at 11:59 p.m.

Comments

[Kai]

My relationships matter the most (and sadly are the first to suffer in those unbalanced moments).

If you find the key to relaxing let me know! :-)

[WebSavvyMom]

-->My free time spent with friends and family matters to me. I'm not defined by my job although it's a good one.

(follow you already on twitter)

[Maggie]

Family.

[girlsmama]

I tend to take on a lot, but my families well being (physical & emotional)matters most to me, but it's also the easiest to ignore. I need to work on that...

[meeyeehere]

My son matters most to me,his health and happiness are all that really matters.
jacksoncrisman@yahoo.com

[mami2jcn]

My children and husband matter way more to me than a clean house. Not that my house is filthy, but I'm not endlessly dusting like a maniac. I'd rather have fun with my family.

mami2jcn at gmail dot com

[Michele D]

Family. My DH and I work very hard to make sure our schedules compliment each others so that one of us is with the kids. No child care. It's hard, but we make it work. It helps that school is back in session.

[Michele D]

I subscribe to your feed and I "like" you ( I really really like you) on Facebook.

[Sarah]

My guy travels extensively for work. What matters most to me is being there for my kids--that they are confident that I'm aware of what's going on in their lives, and that I care.

[Jenny B]

My husband and children are most important to me. As I get older, I realize more and more HOW important family is! I always want them to know how loved they are and never take a single day for granted!

[jamie]

What matters most to me at the moment is to start doing things for myself. I'm always taking care of my dad or my brother or sister that I forget to live for myself. I've learned it's okay to put me first sometimes and still be able to look out for everyone else.

[Angel Jacklyn @ Win $100 from Hypnotic Blend]

What matters the most to me is getting healthy right now. I am a recovering addict and I can't do anything with my life until Im healed. It's taken a long time but I'm almost there! kytah00@yahoo.com

[Angel Jacklyn @ Win $100 from Hypnotic Blend]

I also tweeted the giveaway @ http://twitter.com/kytah00/status/21081773345 kytah00@yahoo.com

[Jessica]

Wow, I must be married to you! My husband is the type A personality and it took him a mini heart attack to chill out. LOL
I have to admit what matters to me the most is my family and they do come first, before me sweeping up the car hairball on the floor I will listen to my son, then make him sweep the floor ahahah

[Nicole]

My son matters most to me. Everything else can wait except caring for Bean.

Of course, my husband is a very, very, very close second, but he knows that Bean needs me more, especially right now.

(I also tweeted your giveaway. I'm @NPalmby. And my Twitter automatically posts to my Facebook, so it'll be there, too.)

[Julie C.]

My family matters most to me. You can't replace loved ones once they're gone, and losing my parents 20+ years ago has taught me that painful lesson. Material things are just that...things. They can be replaced.

[Brandy]

Giving my kids good experiences matter most to me. I'm like you. I'm a perfectionist with everything and a big health scare (my BP) is now making me see that I need to let things go. My house doesn't have to look perfect all the time. The caulking and painting can wait until I have help. Tomorrow? I was guilting my hubs into painting, however an opportunity came up for my Son to be in a Back to School fashion show and he really wanted to do it so he could "show off and win a pizza party for my friends!", so that's what we're doing. I need to accept help from them, that's my big thing, too. No, they don't do it the way I do it, they don't clean as well, but they try and I need to recognize that.

[Kelly H]

My family matters most to me. We hire a cleaning lady once a month to help keep up on the chores so we can spend our weekend time with our kids doing fun family stuff and not cleaning our house!

[GEORGIA CAUDLE]

WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ME IS MY CHILDREN. WORK IS VERY IMPORTANT ALSO. I NEED TO WORK TO MAKE SURE MY KIDS ARE CLOTHED, FED & HAVE SHELTER. LIKE I'VE SAID IN THE PAST, I DON'T DO IT BECAUSE I HAVE TO I DO IT BECAUSE I WANT TO! EMAIL ME @ gmissycat@yahoo.com

[GEORGIA CAUDLE]

TWEET http://twitter.com/gmissycat/status/21085279446 gmissycat@yahoo.com

[Melissa - Shrinking Jeans]

Family definitely matters the most. Although, I am trying to take better care of myself and set a good example for my children!

[Angie]

I would say that making sure my family feels loved and cared for is what is the most important to me. And I suppose doing that well means taking care of myself also. :-)

[amie]

Family! Specifically everything involving raising our kids to be happy, healthy, well adjusted people. Even though sometimes our socks don"t match and we have been known to eat cereal for dinner occasionally.

[A Simple Twist of Faith]

Carmen,
This article is just what I needed to read right now. Balance, very important, but not easy to do. Recently, I let go of my career so I could care for my children full-time, they are my focus. However, I believe it is important to take care of myself phyiscally and mentally. For me, this includes healthy diet choices, exercise and nurturing my faith.I also believe it is important to develop and maintain my relationship with my husband.

[addy]

Relationships - family, friends these are the most important. Work can wait. And I may never get the laundry finished. I'm ok with that.

[paige]

Thirteen years ago I had a breakdown. I was trying to do it all, be it all, have it all...because that's the way it's supposed to be, right?

I am back on track to start freelancing part time and I'm in the process of procuring my teaching license so I can be more marketable.

What's important to me is a certain amount of time for ME. I am setting up a room as my office and my family is alternately supportive and in meltdown mode because they perceive it as selfish.

Maybe it is...a whole room devoted to ME. But that is what's most important to me right now. My family is the reason my heart beats...I love them beyond reason. But if I don't refill my well, then I tend to pour myself out into nothing for them.

Then I can't be there when they need me.

[Cheryl]

My family - jobs come and go, hobbies come and go, but family stays, and it's easy to lose sight of the time you're missing with them when you're pursuing fleeting goals.

[KG]

Raising children to appreciate the world around them & being the kind of wife my husband appreciates having even if he forgets sometimes LOL

I'd love to Tweet & Friend you but I have sworn off both as that would just throw everything more off balance than it already is! :)

[Beth C]

My children matter the most to me, everything else can wait.

[Abella]

Helping my kids grow into adults that I want to hang out with matters the most to me.

[Angela in Ohio]

It's all about family. I've let other things take me away from them in the past and we've all suffered.

[Sandra]

having the energy to keep with my twin boys and remain the true tomboy at heart that I am.

[Nita B]

Family is more important than a spotless house. I've finally realized that. Wish it had happened years ago.

[shel]

My husband, kids, extended family and friends and job have always been a given but lately my focus has been on moving…we’ve well outgrown this “starter” house the past 20 years and my goal is buying a larger house in the suburbs where my daughter can go to a good school. It’s rough because the housing market has bottomed out and sometimes I think we’re never going to “get out”. I’ve been focusing on what I can do each day to work toward my goal. I made a list of tasks that need to be done before we can list our house and every day I try to cross one thing off the list whether it’s a big one like “purge all outgrown clothes stored in the attic” or just “clean off the washer and dryer”. I also have a list of family tasks that I try to have us do every few weeks like “clean out the garage”..it’s amazing how quickly we can get it done when we’re all working together as a team.

There are days I actually break down and cry because I want to move so bad; you know I've never had a birthday party for my kids at my house? Never hosted a holiday or had a party here..there's just no room. It's days like that that I have to remind myself I have to work for it and throw a little bit extra into crossing tasks off the list. One day very soon, I'm going to be throwing a huge party at my NEW house.

[shel]

Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/auntiethesis/status/21175693224

[marybeth i]

my family is most important. We are so busy during the week that we try to enjoy having fun or relaxing on the weekends.

misaacmom at gmail dot com

[Tami]

Spending more time with my mom is something that matters to me! We spend one week-end together every month!

[Kristie]

The other day the "bug man" came to my house unexpectantly to spray for bugs. I was, of course, unprepared for his visit and thought he was coming next week. He walks through the whole house (closets, too) to spray so there is no hiding the mess that was my house. When he finished I think he could tell I felt embarassed by the house and his complement was, "You are a good mother." I laughed knowing this meant a good mother, but not a good housekeeper. But then I thought, my kids are happy, we clearly just came back from the pool and picnic. Who cares? Clean when they're all in school. They'll remember the fun we had not how clean the house was! It's what I like to tell myself anyway.

[DCGirl]

My kids of course, but it took my own version of a breakdown ( anxiety attacks) to realize I couldn't solely focus on them. Not till I was 40 and in therapy did I understand that I am a creative person and am happiest when I am "making stuff". Everything else is more balanced now that I know and value this about myself.

[Katie]

Squeezing in time for me to prep (and eat) healthy meals and exercise is one of the things that matters most to me. I know that if I take care of myself, I can take care of others better, and I can be a better employee and a much happier, healthier person.

[Lorie]

What matters the most to me is finding balance! Getting everything I want and need done without losing my mind!

[Lorie]

I posted about the giveaway on my Facebook page!

[Kikilia]

Finding a job is my top priority right now.

[suzie]

My kids and raising them right is what matters most to me. I feel I raise them best when I am well-balanced, that I did not raise them best when I did not have other things in my life that were important to me.

[elz]

My family. I have a job that pays me FAR less than what I would earn if I worked in a more traditional law firm environment. But, I get to go to my kids' plays, recitals, pick them up and not have to worry about work at night or on the weekends. Priceless.

[abercrombie]

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[Ami]

Having fun is what matters to me most! :)

[Kelsey Kim]

My family takes presidence, but I still need to take time to myslef, and to clean the house, and to cook, etc!! But I'd rather spend time with my husband and kids than do anything else.

[BrendaLea]

My Grandsons matter the most to me, and being creative.

[Karina]

My kids and my husband matter most to me.