How to deal with sabotage

So, you are plugging along, exercising daily, making good food choices, and suddenly you find yourself surrounded by people who want to make you FAT.  The coworker who brings in chocolate bars and brownies (not my coworkers, who read here - just a generic coworker), your spouse, who can eat a double chocolate brownie with hot fudge sauce and ice cream every night, the nice neighbor who brings you cookies weekly as a thank you, the jumbo nachos at the Friday night meet and greet. You don't want to be rude, or appear ungrateful, and so you just have one bite.  Which becomes two, and three, and then you think to yourself, "Well, Self, the diet is blown, so feel free to eat some more."  And so you do, and then you feel horrible about yourself.

STOP thinking like that.  First of all, you are NOT dieting.  A lifestyle change is a lifestyle change, and you have room for a slip now and then.  What you want to do is keep the slip from becoming a free fall.  How do you do that?

Do you have a support system?  I know that I matched people up - I've got a person who needs a partner right now, as a matter of fact, so leave me a comment if you are interested.  When I first began to be serious about losing weight, an awesome writer friend began an online group.  I loved that group.  It was so wonderful to be able to click away my frustration, my aggravation, and to find a commiserating voice when I was craving a cookie so badly I couldn't see straight.  That group was one of the main reasons I was able to lose weight this time.  Get a support system in place.  Have a buddy who will be your sounding board, and also use this person as a method of accountability.  If you know that you check in daily with your buddy, it makes it a bit tougher to grab the second piece of meatloaf, or skip your exercise for the day.

Secondly, if you've just fallen face first into a vat of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk - don't ask, don't ask - do something that will make you feel better about your upcoming choices.  Do some stretches, take a walk around the block - even just calling your sounding board person and recommitting yourself to your efforts will help.  Make a gesture that is a physical effort as well - set your shoes out by the door, charge up your iPod and put the pedometer on your outfit for the next day.  Set yourself up to get out there and get it done.  If you are the type to be motivated by new clothes, buy a new shirt or pair of socks to jazz you in the exercise.

Plan for the next 24 hours to eat only good for your body foods.  Actually physically plan your meals. Protein, veggies, fruit, and complex carbohydrates to balance the remainder of the meal.  Figure out how you can add in more water.

How will you deal with your next temptation?  It's easier to plan your response ahead of time, rather than fly by the seat of your pants.  If you can't say no, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and practice.  "No, thank you.  It looks great, but I just can't." No other explanation is required.  Don't give too much information.  Above all, don't let people guilt you into joining them.  Remember the rule - "If it's not the absolute best (insert food here) I've ever had, it's not worth it to me."

Then get out there and set your plan into action. 

You may have to do this time and again.  Do not give up, do not become sidetracked by your supposed "defeat".  As long as you are moving in the right direction, even if you make a slight detour from time to time - you are still moving in the right direction and you will get there.  I promise.

Comments

[Emily]

Thanks, Carmen. I needed this today.

It will keep me from eating the cookie dough in the fridge, that I bought in a weak moment. Well, any more of it anyway. I'll bake them up and send them to a neighbor who's not dieting.

[Stephanie C.]

"If it's not absolutely the best _________ I've ever had, it's not worth it."
That is so right on!! Thanks.

[workoutmommy]

great post! My husband is a classic "enabler" ---he'll come home from the grocery store with cookies and brownies all the time. It is hard to resist, but in the long run I feel MUCH better.

[Michele]

Carmen -
I am looking for a weight loss partner, too.
Feel free to contact me or pass along my info.

[Tiffany]

Your blog today is so true. You cannot think of losing weight as a diet but as a total lifestyle change. If you diet you will eventually go off of the diet and probablly end up gaining the weight back (as soooo many people do) but if you make lifestyle changes you will lead a healthier lifestyle and lose weight and keep it off.

[She-Ra]

I just threw away the rest of my daughter's birthday cake. No one else was eating it and I am tired of looking at it and telling myself no. In the past I would have just eaten it so I wouldn't have to look at it any more but not this time... Out it goes!

As I read on another blog today, I am not a garbage can.

[Kate]

Oh Carmen - I can't tell you how fitting this was today!! I had exactly that kind of week - and gained back a pound (out of 8 'removed' so far on Weight Watchers). Not going to beat myself up about it more - but I will keep working on strategies to help me keep on with this change!

Thanks for sharing your story and helping to motivate us all!

[mary]

"If it's not the absolute best (insert food here) I've ever had, it's not worth it to me

I think I need a tattoo of this on my hand or arm...SO true!!

I have been sick with a chest cold this week and unable to walk as I told myself I promised you. :( So I did 8 min Abs today and MAN that is some good stuff!!

[Jennifer]

What works for me is thinking "I know what a chocolate chip cookie tastes like, or a chocolate cake from a mix" No biggie, save the sabotage for something really good or exotic, and then have a small bite.

[Janelle]

I would be up for a weight loss partner. I need to get back on track. Janelle.Erickson@northhomesinc.org

[Kendra]

9 POUNDS!!!! That's what I say to sabotage!!!
9 POUNDS!

YEA ME!