Excuses, revisited

I've gotten more than a few emails this week, asking me to help the writers figure out why they can't lose weight.   I thought it was time to revisit one of my favorite blog posts. 

Everyone has an excuse.  All of us.  I was the QUEEN of them.  I still find myself lapsing into "I don't feel like it - I'm too tired.  I worked out yesterday.  I didn't sleep well."

Boy, I hated rereading what I have posted below.  I HATE remembering how I hid behind excuses.

had every SINGLE excuse known to womankind memorized.  I'd had six kids, I was over 35, I was busy.  I had responsibilities, jobs, chores and where was the time for me to have fun?  Exercise was no fun!  I had no time to go to the gym, no one to watch my kids, a difficult child that no one would watch, and besides, my house was always in need of some work of one kind or another.  If I had free time, I wanted to nap, not sweat.  We had no money, really, to afford a gym membership, or weight machines, or any real exercise equipment.  My last two babies were 17 months apart - what did I expect to look like?  I had writing I wanted to do, tie dyeing, reading, cooking - no time to add another activity.

And then, I saw a picture.  Or to be more correct, a series of pictures.

The pictures of my son's birthday embarrass me.   I hate to see myself in them - a solid, stalwart mom in mom jeans.  I felt like I was slim and quick, but I couldn't field the soccer ball and the reality of the photos shook me.  Still, I did nothing.  After all, I had six kids - surely I looked like a mom was supposed to look?  I mean, really, my friends with 7 and 8 kids at the time were heavier.  Besides that, I was certain I'd be pregnant again and who wants to gain weight after losing it? 

Still I did nothing.  My birthday and Thanksgiving came and went, and still, there I sat.  Until Christmas, and I saw pictures.  There was no denying it - I was a fatty.  Fatty McFatterson. And I started to exercise.

Now that I've been moderately successful, I've run into lots of people who claim that they want to get into shape, but they can't. They have so many excuses.  People.  PEOPLE.  Who you trying to kid?  There is not ONE excuse that you can use - I've tried them all.

• I don't have the time that you have to devote to exercise - truthfully, I hear this one alot.  In fact, here on my other blog when I posted about my 7 mile, 2 hour walk.  You have time to do whatever you want.  Your day is yours.  If you are a stay at home parent, you have loads of time.  If you work out of the house, you still have time.  My mother goes to the Y after work, and she works a 12 hour day.  The Hubster walks on the treadmill in the morning before he goes to work, and he works a 16 hour day.  If you could start a habit that would give you a million dollars at the end of the year, you'd be all over it like white on rice.  That's what exercise is - it gives you years of your life, both years to come and the years now.  As much as I'd love a million dollars, I'd love to see my kids well into old age.  Exercise won't guarantee you a long life, but it can only help.  My house isn't clean all the time, my laundry isn't caught up all the time, dusting and vacuuming are done on an as needed basis.  I bake less, and my kids help out a bit more.  It gets done, but I come first.  It can be hard to fit it in now that I work 5 hours a day out of the home, and write for four sites, but it can be done.
• I don't have anyone to exercise with - this one is hard. Or not, your choice.  I've advertised to start a walking group at my kids school.  I received three phone calls, and no one has shown up.  I still go, and still walk.  Truthfully, you need to do this for yourself, and it's not the worst thing in the world to exercise alone.
• I have no special equipment - neither do I, my friend.  I walk with my two girls in the regular old double stroller.  I do have an iPod - a mother's day gift from two years ago.  Today, my battery, which I KNOW was fully charged, died 40 minutes into my 2 hour walk. That was brutal, my people.  With my tunes, I can keep a 4.0 - 4.5 pace; without, I was struggling to keep it at 3.3.  I do pushups daily, which need no tools other than your arms.  Start with girl pushups, gradually move to inclines and then regular.  I promise you will see results. The regular and incline ones work the abs as well.  Soup cans make good free weights.  For that matter, bench press your average 4 year old. Tons of fun, and a good work out.
• I need to shower/pay my bills/volunteer at school/grocery shop. So? Do those things.  But do YOUR thing first.  I do all of those things.  AFTER I exercise. 
• I have small children.  They cry and complain.   Yeah, so do I.  I take all of the necessary precautions when we go out.  Everyone potties - especially even me - I pack healthy snacks or sandwiches, if we are out at lunch time.  I bring water.  In the basket, I have books, dolls, magnadoodles, little bubble wands, a couple of crayons and small notebooks.  There is always something for them to look at - the clouds, the ducks, the other walkers.  I spend a lot of time showing them interesting things to see.  Sometimes, though, they just fuss.  I've put on my music and ignored them.  If the needs are met, and they keep fussing. I can't do anything about it.  I remember one fateful day when my daughter howled the entire hour that I was out.  It bugged me, but it bugged me more that I wasn't able to have my time to exercise, so I just kept going. When she was younger, I'd bring the sling and walk with her in there.  THAT'S a workout!  Backpacks are great, and you can often find them at thrift stores. Try Craigslist.  Ask around - I'll bet you'd be surprised. 
• I have nowhere to exercise.  I walk to a safe place, a walking track.  I cross 8 lanes of traffic to get there.  I dont wear my earphones when I cross, and I coordinate it really well with the stop light pattern.  If you don't want to go somewhere, rent a video tape.  Netflix has dvds.  Borrow one from a friend.  Run your stairs. Walk to the grocery.  Drive to the mall and walk the circuit.  Drive to a track and walk there.  Ride your bike.  I've spent a lot of time figuring out routes that I can walk to improve my distance, and how I can run, on days that I can leave the girls at home with The Hubster.
• I don't have money for a gym.  See above.  It can be prohibitively expensive to exercise, or as free as air. 
• I'm too amply endowed. Male readers might want to look away.  Ladies, if you are too busty, wear two bras - it's what I do.  A regular one and a Enell sports bra over.  No, and I mean NO, bounce. The point is, if I, a D cup now and a I 2 years ago, can do it, so can you.  Support your boobies.  They will thank you later.
• I'm pregnant/breastfeeding/postpartum. Great! Congratulations!  Exercise, in moderation, is good in all of these situations.  See above, though, about supporting yourself. 
• I have too much to do at home/work.  Yeah, don't we all. Pop your dinner in the crock pot - even go so far as to prepare it the night before and refrigerate it until the next day. Take it out and let it cook while you walk. Put in a load of laundry and do a dvd while it washes.  Do 10 pushups while you reheat your cup of coffee.  Walk during your lunch hour.  Set a timer and get up every hour and run in place for 5 minutes.  Take the stairs, walk from the back of the parking lot.  Five minutes, here and there, can really add up.  I do ten each of pushups, toe lifts,squats or tricep dips whenever I get a spare minute at work.

The way I see it, I owe it to myself to do this.  I come FIRST.  Who puts me first?  Me.  No one else will.  If you want to do it, you'll figure out a way.  I really hope I didn't come across as preachy and annoying - I've got a lock on the excuses, though, and I hate to see someone who is deluding themselves like I was. And, as a bonus, I'm no longer taking Zoloft at all, and my moods are more even. 

Comments

[Kendra]

Thanks for this-we all need the reminder now and then that there are no excuses.

Just 10 minutes before I read this post I told my husband that even though tomorrow is a day off for the kids (yea! I can sleep in!!) that he needed to get me up early so I can walk. I have NO excuses for tomorrow-no kids to get to school, no lunches to pack, and they can wait for their breakfast. Tomorrow it's me first.

[Lora]

Great post! You are so very right about every single thing you said! I'm going to drop and do 10 push ups right now!

[Leticia]

Thank you. I need to keep reading this every couple of days. :o)

[Kendra]

And I did it-3.1 mi.-and it feels great!

[jenn]

You must be reading my mind. I just started back to working out and eating right after 11 months of excuses after my daughter was born. I realized the only one who is suffering is myself and as you say, we owe it to ourselves.

[Des]

wow! Wear two bras? I NEVER even thought of it and it is a real problem for me. Thanks, Carmen, for that excellent advice!

[workout mommy]

EXCELLENT post Carmen!! I love it!!!

[Heather]

I SO needed to read this today. I got up at 5 for my weight training class and argued with myself for several minutes. Back to bed almost won out (I went to bed late, I worked a long day yesterday, it's dark outside, bed is so comfy...) The class was great!

[LC]

Well, we did it!

I left the house to go walk 30 at the park, with the dog, and my battery was dead! So, a trip to the local mechanic, and a battery, and my day was shot, right?

Nope! Got in the car, went to the park and did it ANYWAY. I wouldn't have done that a month ago. I would have gone home and continued with the other stuff I need to do.

Got my 30 min walk in, with my little strength moves, and even the dog is tired!

Do it..."even tho"!

[Heather AKA Epiphany Alone]

Thanks for this post, Carmen.

I started going to the gym in September. First twice a week, and now I go 5 days a week. I do an hour of cardio 4 days, a half hour of weights one day, and yoga one day. That part of the life change seems easier than the diet for me, which goes really well for a couple of weeks and then doesn't. It's easier now that it is part of our routine to get in the car and go to the gym every day.

I want to work on core because it's holding me back in yoga, and also when I look in that full length mirror I see toned arms and legs and a flatter, but still round middle. I'm going to add in the sit ups and push ups in the evenings during tv time...let you know how it goes :) Once the semester ends (I take a college course on Saturdays), I'm going to add a second class in - pilates.

[amy]

Carmen
A post worth repeating. Can you put in the bin to post every couple months? ha ha ha
Off to the gym this morning.
Lost 2.7 lbs at WW wed night (with my jeans on yet!!!!) 27 lbs and counting :)
Happy to be doing this with you Carmen