Can you be too afraid to lose weight?

On tonight's episode of The Biggest Loser, Jillian Michaels makes a really interesting point. 

She says that you can be so afraid of your success that you sabotage your weight loss, thereby insuring that you won't be successful.  Do you agree?

I certainly know that it is safe to keep the weight on, to stay heavy and virtually invisible as you've always been.

Discuss.

Comments

[Karen Sugarpants]

Oh totally. I blogged about this on the old site but I did sabotage to keep my weight on because I felt like I'd be less attractive while overweight, thereby protecting myself from assault/rape ever happening again. Once I worked through that with the help of hubby, I was well on my way.

[NotAMeanGirl]

Without a doubt. I've lost 70 lbs since July and I have about 200 to go but the fear... ohyeah. It rears its ugly head frequently and loudly. Good thing I have a big, big stick to beat it down with.

[Donna]

Yup. There's definitely a fear factor (hmm. different show).

I'm starting my maintenance tomorrow so what did I do tonight? I cooked. And it wasn't as low cal as it should have been. Self sabotage? I dunno, but I'll be talking about it with my diet counselors tomorrow.

[Headless Mom]

I've never been as big as some of the people on the show but in theory I agree. I think that some people get so buried in their (weight, addiction, insert problem here) that they feel paralyzed about it Not being there. I have an issue of my own that I'm scared to get rid of-it's always been there for me and I don't know who I'd be without it. That being said, I know that I shouldn't have this 'thing' in my life, either.

[breckgirl]

There are reasons for keeping the weight on, definitely. For me (and I speak for myself only), it shields me in some ways from my own dangerous addictions, like sex and men. When I am fat, I don't tend to have the wandering eye and the lustful thoughts - I KNOW nobody is looking. But when I am thin, I still turn heads and that attention, as good as it might feel, can be a powerful pull for me to engage in behaviors or thoughts that are ultimately destructive to me (and my family).

I am ten pounds from my goal now - the attention has officially begun. I just try to keep my mind on my relationship with God, the reasons for my weight loss (health, a new pregnancy) and realize that being fat is no protection - I have to face my sin addictions (alcohol is also one of my demons!) head on without the barriers of fat, denial and self-sabotage.

Whoo - that was a little deeper than I had expected. I know there are other women who stay fat to "tame the wild child," so to speak - I just don't think people want to talk about that very candidly and for good reason! Perhaps I need a post on this on my own blog - thanks for the inspiration.

[amy]

Absolutely!
This go round on WW I'm having a hella time tracking each and every morsel that passes my lips. Then when I do lose at a w/i I'm pleasantly suprised. funny how the 2 weeks last month I did track I lost 2lbs each week. So why not track? If I could figure it out I'd be done already @@

[Lora]

I can't really relate to this...I used to be thin and I want nothing more in the world to look like that again. I'm sure it's true for some people..but for me - I just love food too much. Which is not a good thing...

[failing again]

I truly know in my heart that I stay this big because I am tired...so tired...of failing. I feel I would rather be fat than try and fail again. It truly does a number on ones self esteem

[amy]

Lora
Any way you can do it smaller chunks? Instead of focusing on a large number perhaps make one simple change for the week? Drink enough water...take a multivitamin...walk to the corner and back 3 times this week? Seriously it's all a series of little steps and if you're not ready to do all the changes in one fell swoop and who the heck is? Then just do little changes that you CAN do and add to them as you can. We all didn't gain the weight over night it was a lifetime of poor choices and not enough movement so it takes a while to get comfortable with the changes necessary to get healthy again. And we're all worth being healthy and living our lives to the fullest. We need to be kind to ourselves if we're not always 100% because we're HUMAN. Brush it off and begin again. Just because lets say you have a less then stellar breakfast doesn't mean you have to toss in the entire day and think the day is a do over. Make better choices with lunch, snacks, dinner. It takes 3 weeks to make a habit so be gentle with yourself on this journey. You wouldn't be reading here if it wasn't something that interested you and something you might want to begin at some point. There is no failure in trying. To fail is to not try at all.

[Catherine]

Nope, definitely not afraid to lose. Afraid of the *effort* involved in losing--yes, sometimes. But it's totally worth it.

[Cori]

I think some people can be, especially if weight isn't the only area in which they've shown fear of success. For me personally, I don't think it's the problem behind my lack of weight loss progress. I think laziness is my biggest obstacle. I want to lose weight but I often don't want it enough to go for a run everyday instead of watching another hour of tv or to prep and cook my meals instead of eating some type of convenience food.

[emma]

God yes! Its so hard to imagine being different. New attention is not always welcome. Frankly, I went through a period of time where my round stomach reminded me of being pregnant (which I loved and missed). There are so many reasons to just keep with the status quo. Remember, entropy is the natural state of the universe that we have to constantly fight against.

[Jen]

Oh yeah, sabotage yourself before you can succeed or fail. That way, you can say you can't do it without knowing if you really could have or not. Confusing language, but the logic is there. I've been there many times. "What if I can't do it?" may as well quit 1st just in case I really can't.

This kind of thinking has kept me where I'm currently at. However, now I'm actually doing something about it and NOT quitting. Kudos to everyone else who is doing the same!

[Cairogal]

Here's a thought that crosses my mind from time to time:

What happens when I no longer shop in Lane Bryant? I mean, I know LB. I like their clothes. They fit me. I might have to shop in skinny girl shops. (gasp)

[alana]

Oh yeah! The fear factor is huge for me. A huge barrier. I've lost fifteen and am fifteen pounds away from my "bounce back" weight, where I usually sabotage myself and start gaining again. This time I am DETERMINED to face my fears and insecurities head on and to grow up and DEAL with the fact that I tend to turn heads when my body is at a lower weight, but that doesn't mean I'm somehow evil or responsible...

Oooooh! I think I may have just hit the nail on the head just now with a blink of personal insight that came out of the blue.

[Adria Sha]

Yes, I think it's all too common. Knowing it and overcoming it are too different things, unfortunately