Cross posted from Mom to the Screaming Masses
Way back in the day, I hated PE class with the passion of a thousand burning suns. It was no fun. I especially REALLY hated the stupid President's Physical Fitness tests. I think that the President should stick to foreign policy and not be all bothered about how many sit ups I can do, but whatever. I don't make the rules.
Interestingly enough, I have a kid who gets all of the stupid awards for President's Physical Fitness every stinking year. At her school, she gets a patch to sew on her PE uniform - and so now all of the siblings younger than her who wear her hand me downs can be total posers - that's MY way to get the stupid President's Physical Fitness award.
Not like I'm bitter or anything.
I tolerated the 100 yard dash, the shuttle run, the broad jump, the jump and reach (remember jumping up with the stupid chalk? What marker of high level fitness does THAT test measure?) and the sit and reach. I hated the mile run, the push ups and the sit ups - I find it funny that I have no trouble with those now. But the WORST, the absolute WORST was the Flex Arm Hang. I was never able to hang longer than, oh, ONE SECOND. I was a complete and utter failure at that stupid event - and it followed me every.single.year. It became a joke - I'd stand on the bench, the teacher'd pull the bench, and down I'd go. It was mortifyingly embarrassing that I couldn't even hold myself for a second - and I hated that other girls could hang for long lengths of time - one girl for TWO minutes.
The best thing about being out of school was the end of the RIDICULOUS fitness testing.
This week, I received an email from my martial arts school. There is a new dynamic added to the belt testing. Now, in addition to having to demonstrate your new skill test - a combination of punches, kicks, defenses, elbows and knees - and on opposite months you have to demonstrate an endurance round against an instructor - now you have to demonstrate your fitness.
How does one do that, you might ask?
Push ups, sit ups, and for men, pull ups. For women, FRICKIN' FLEX ARM HANG. But! Not to worry - the time is graduated by age, and since I'm turning 40 next month, I get to drop down to the next level. What, exactly does this mean? It means that I'll need to be able to hang from the stupid bar for at least 20 seconds for a "satisfactory" score. Twenty-five seconds for a "good", and an entire HALF-MINUTE for an "excellent".
I'm never going to get away from the stupid Flex Arm Hang. Guess I've gotta get busy hanging out at the bar.
You can do it, you've been in training for this! remember all those sleepless nights with babes in arms? or the gassy that wouldn't sleep and you had to HOLD them all night long? you've got this in the bag!
Posted by: kyooty | October 07, 2009 at 07:12 PM
Really enjoyed the read, thanks. I'm still working on losing weight, do you think I should take a look at any supplements as well?
Posted by: Mark-OnMyDiet | October 10, 2009 at 11:52 AM
LUKE, it is your DESTINY!
Mwahaaa ;-)
Posted by: des | October 11, 2009 at 12:43 AM
Joining Spa Lady tomorrow, going to start that Couch to 5km if it kills me!
Good luck on the arm hang thing, do it every day and I am sure you will get there!! I'll try too! (we have a bar in the basement that my hubby hung, he is so good at it! meh!)
Posted by: Tracey in Calgary | October 19, 2009 at 01:15 AM
http://sixcharacters.wordpress.com/2009/01/10/93-i-could-have-been-an-outdoor-girl/
You might appreciate this article by someone else with shameful memory of failing the flex arm hang test.
Posted by: Pat | October 20, 2009 at 11:12 AM
Joined Spa Lady-check.
Stuck at home with sick child (possibly swine flu)-check
Can't wait til next week-check!
Posted by: Tracey | October 23, 2009 at 12:33 AM