The ELFF Diet

Who Am I, and What Am I Doing at Fitbloggin'?

Want to follow me on Twitter? I'm @mttsm. I'll be tweeting about Fitbloggin' this weekend.

I will Ok, so if you are on this page, in all reality, you are either in my panel or you heard about my panel at Fibloggin, held in Baltimore on March 20. My panel is called Using Social Media to Reach Goals: The Power of an Online Community.

I willbe speaking with a great group of fellow bloggers, including the lovely MizFitOnline, Bookie Boo, Theresa DiMasi from Weight Watchers and Benjamin Teal.

If you want to know more about me, here's a quick snapshot on why I am speaking on this panel. In 2006, I began a weight loss effort. It was not my first try, but it was the first time that I was truly successful. At the end of 18 months, I had lost 80 pounds. I dropped from a size 18-20 to a size 2-4. I developed a love of running, weight training and martial arts, belting in both Capoeira and Muay Thai boxing. I was at the gym 6 days a week, and running almost every day. I LOVED it. I'm a yellow belt in Capoeira and ready to test for my Red in Muay Thai boxing. I've run a half marathon.

Then, I suffered a few injuries. In Feb 2009, I tore my gastrocnemius muscle in my right calf and wore a walking boot and crutches for four months. During that time, I suffered a nervous breakdown.  I recovered from that and returned to my martial arts. Then I had a miscarriage in May 2009. That was a tough one. Then, in September 2009, I pulled my piriformis muscle - and that STILL BUGS ME. So over the course of those injuries and setbacks, I gained back about 15 pounds. I'm mostly ok with that, as I heard several times that I was too thin - but my bod image is skewed and I feel heavier than I am almost every day of my life. 

I know. I'm full of drama. And high maintenance. It's ok.

I'm the Chief Mom for Diets In Review, where I talk all things diet and exercise related. It is a great job and I'm thrilled to be there. If you are so inclined, check out our Cook at Home Challenge, where you can win a kitchen makeover. I WANT to win it and I can't, so I'd love it if one of you did!

This site has been mostly defunct lately, but there is a LOT of good stuff in the archives over there.

Thanks for stopping by!

The Failure Edition

I feel like a failure.

I was afraid to go to Blogher this year.  Not because I was nervous to see people, or afraid to speak.

I was afraid because my weight is up. And I was afraid that people would talk, and people would criticize.

Fourteen weeks of wearing the boot, 6 weeks of physical therapy, followed by a miscarriage and then having to pick myself up and begin basically ALL OVER AGAIN - it's demotivating and demoralizing, not to mention the other D word - depressing.

I've been a success at weight loss, having lost 80 pounds, but it was really too much weight.  I have no idea how much I weigh right now - as in, too ashamed to get on the scale - but I know that last years jeans are really tight and in one case, unable to zip.  So, for the sake of kicks, let's say 20 pounds.

And I know how to get it off.  I just - don't want to. 

But I don't like my body right now, the muffin top that's reappeared, the gelatinous thighs, the bottom the size of South Africa.  I take muay thai or capoeira five days a week, but it's not enough cardio, and so I need to get back out there and pound the pavement.

I've got to.  For my own mental health, for my physical well being - because I'm not going back to where I was five years ago. I'm not.

I'm NOT.

This is me, picking myself up to try, try again. After all, what else can you do?

An Exhibit

My Green belt test - try to forgive how lame I look - for whatever reason, I was nervous as hell:

Too, Too Tired

I took a Muay Thai class and then did kettle bell work - kind of like Crossfit stuff, but not quite that intense - and now I'm so, so exhausted I can't see straight.

So, tell me this - what's the most exhausting exercise you've ever done?

A Reader Asks A Question

Question:  Why do you take martial arts?  Isn't that really for men?  What, exactly, do you get out of it?  Isn't it too hard for you?

Huh.  And, uh, whoa.

Hell, yes, it's hard.  Muay Thai (Thai boxing) and Capoeira are probably the hardest things I've ever done. Skill wise, capoeria is very, very difficult.  It involves gymnastic type work, flipping and spinning and more fancy stuff than I'll probably ever be able to master.  That doesn't mean I won't keep trying.  Muay Thai is very physically challenging for me - I frequently leave the studio drenched and exhausted.  Physically worn out and drained.  I especially love the cardio drills and the boot camp type stuff.  Kettle balls, medicine balls, running drills, push up and crunch challenges - I'm the only one that's happy when those things are announced, I think.

But that's a good thing.  When I go to class, and, really, through most of the day, I feel jumpy and edgy.  Feel like I have to DO something, GO somewhere, get SOMETHING accomplished.  When I get to class, it's a relief sometimes just to be able to punch something.  Those of you that know me in real life know that I'm usually not sitting still, but moving and dancing and just DOING. Too much energy, I've been told.

Martial arts training, I think, is very good for women.  It's helped me to feel more confident in my entire life, to know how to handle myself and what to do if I'm attacked - we practice that type of stuff too.  It's empowering and fulfilling to me to be in a class with mostly men, to be able to handle myself and not feel inadequate.  I've been very pleased with it.  Even when I have a bad class - like tonight.  A bad class is better than none at all.

Tap, Tap, Tap

I know.  I rarely post here.  And when I do, it's short and not very full of info.  SO, let's get this this going again.

I've gained 5 pounds.

Which, you know, might not be that awful.  Except that it's all I can think about, all I can worry about - can anyone see it? (no) Does anyone care? (no) Does it matter? (no) Am I defined by my 5 pounds? (no) Who really cares? (no one) And it's ten pounds from my lowest weight, which, most everyone told me including my doctor, was too low.  It's what I see when I look in the mirror - not the incredibly hard work I've done, but the extra five pounds.  I berate myself for poor food choices, call myself names, worry about the food I eat and obsess daily that I am on the road to gaining back all 80 pounds.  Even though I know I won't.

I know that I have a warped body image and sense of reality.  I also know that I'm not made by those 5 or 10 pounds.  I am aware of what I've done wrong, (almost no cardio and too much of the wrong stuff - hello, eating out! And cookies.  And pizza.) I know that I need to make some small changes to get myself back in line. I do have one thing going for me - I don't hate food.  I know what to do and I know that I can do it. 

Confused?  Puzzled?  Join the crowd.

I've spent time every day avoiding cardio and then feeling guilty - saying to myself all the while, you need to do it, but never getting there.  I do take martial arts classes five days a week, but there are days when we work on form and technique and precious little sweat drops from my furrowed brow.  I've lied to myself that it is enough, but it really hasn't been.  So I plan to return to the cardio that I've been successful with in the past - walking and running.  I made myself get out there today, and I LOVED it.  I ran and walked for four miles, ( walked at a 4.2 pace and ran at a 5.5) and it was seriously one of, if not the, best parts of the day.  I plan to go out every day this four day weekend.  I know that will go a long way towards making me feel less antsy about the 5 pounds and more settled in my own mind.

I plan to do extra cardio every day.  I know that if I do that, no matter if I never lose those five pounds, I'll feel better about myself.  Today was glorious. And the food fell in line. And I felt GREAT about myself.  It's clearly the "thing" I need to fix.

So today was the run/walk and a kick butt Thai boxing class.  Tomorrow I'll do the same walk/run and be sensible about the food choices for Thanksgiving dinner.  I'll check in here tomorrow to list what I ate as a way to keep me straight.

Is anyone still reading here?  Have I let you all down?

Exercise By The Season

Outdoor exercise in the summer is just rude around here.  It's hot, the humidity level is about a million, and you feel like you'll die if you don't stop.  When I go running or walking in the summer, if it doesn't happen before 8 a.m., it just isn't happening, unless it's at 9 p.m. 

This is the perfect time of year for outdoor exercise, in my opinion.  It's cool enough that when you leave the house, you feel like a pair of gloves and a hat might be needed, and you come home warm and flushed, without your jacket on and in a great frame of mind.  It's brisk, it's chilly, and it's conducive - for me anyway - to going further and faster.  I love to walk or run outside when the temperature ranges from 30 - 65.  With a beanie and a sweatshirt and a pair of light weight gloves, I'm pretty comfy for most of he fall/winter.

I don't like spring because it's a different kind of chilly.  It's bone numbing, damp and depressing. Fall is crisp.  You can smell the fires burning in fireplaces and imagine the families inside their houses, stretched out on the floor, reading books and playing games. 

What's your favorite outdoor exercise?  During what season?

Only in the Olympics

Would 33 years of age be classified as OLD.  And 125 pounds be considered heavy.

I've been glued to the tube watching hours and hours of Olympic coverage - mostly swimming and gymnastics, and I'm constantly amazed at #1 how strong and powerful and overwhelmingly focused the athletes are and #2 how YOUNG everyone is. 

It's been gratifying to see that Dara Torres (over 40 swimmer) and the 33 year old German gymnast both did very, very well.  It's just frustrating to me to hear the commentary about their ages, repeated again and again.  I feel old enough as it is.

Thanks for the input re: the half marathon.  I'm probably going to skip it.  If I do decide to walk it, that's all I'll do - walk. I've missed SO many classes due to the two surgeries that I don't want to miss any more capoeira or Thai boxing if I can possibly help it.  If I attempted to run it, I'd be asking for an injury = probably a big one again.

So, what's on your agenda this week?  I've got capoeira Monday, Wednesday and Saturday, Thai boxing Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, and weight training M/W/F mornings.  Same schedule as the entire summer, during this, my last week of summer before school starts in SEVEN days. 

Oh! Oh! OH!

Guess what I did tonight?  Go on, you'll never guess.

I CLIMBED the rope at the gym all the way to the top!  The second time, I made it 3/4 of the way.

Now, it was the rope that has rubber balls interspersed every two feet or so, so I was able to use my legs.

But I did it! I've never done it before - always wanted to - but I was too heavy/too chicken/not strong enough.

Today I broke another roadblock. 

What have you done that pushes you to the next level?

Punishing with Push Ups

That's going to be my new disciplinary technique, I think.

I completed Week 1 with no trouble.  Week 2 was a little more challenging, but I was able to crank out at least three more than my max each time, so I felt that the week ended successfully. 

I finished Week 2 on Sunday.  My typical routine has been to do the push ups on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, because on Monday and Wednesday I do both heavy weight work and capoeira.  (I don't want to kill myself.  I take Muy Thai on Tuesday and Thursday, so I can usually fit the push ups in there.)

A few days after completing Week 2, you are asked to repeat the initial test to see  #1 of you have improved any and #2 what level you are for the remaining weeks.

I did 30 tonight.  I may have been able to do more if I hadn't done the boxing class, but my arms were shaking by 20 and the last 10 were a challenge.

Are you doing the challenge?  How far did you make it?

And the next time one of my kids mouths off, they are going to drop and give me 25.  At the very least, they'll be too tired to talk back.