« Sixty | Main | Mission Monday: Holiday planning »

Comments

Heather

Carmen, take a breath! You are the most together woman I have heard of and the fact that you have an off day makes me feel better about myself :) So, there. There was some good out of this hellacious day! Kidding aside, hope the kahlua worked wonders :)

Brandy

You are a great Mom. I don't have a day that I don't feel as if I'm failing my children in some way. We all have doubts and days where we feel as if we can't do anything right.
Sending you BIG hugs and some peace.

CharmingDriver

Mmmmmm instead of listing what you didn't do how about thinking that everyone made it to their games, meds and all, you did your best to make confession, everyone hiked, you spent time with friends and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that none of your kids are in danger from one meal being delayed (or will complain about hot dogs)so...lighten up on yourself, babe. You work hard, do your best and that is all anyone can expect.

Allegra will have a better day tomorrow and in a few days the surfer zinc balm will be funny when you look back on it, hee. Honest.

Hugs to you svelte-momma!

Tammy

Don't beat yourself up so. You did everything you could to be in a jillion places at once. Just getting them all where they were supposed to be was a huge thing! I have only one and it's a challenge much of the time. I can't imagine how you do it with 6! Allegra's just going to have mood swings up and down for the next several years. Enjoy the up days and realize the down ones won't last long and whatever has her down will be irrelevant tomorrow. Your kids will all appreciate all you've done for them in time. Until they do, cherish the good days!!! There will be many more of those!

Kristi

Wow, that type of day would stress and upset the best of mothers so don't take it personally. I don't know how old Allegra is but I have 17 and 13 year old daughters (and a 19 yr old son) and her reaction seems perfectly normal for girls. I WILL tell you though that my daughter Ryan (the 17 yr old) told me that when she would be a smart mouth to me she'd instantly regret it whether she showed it or not.

My suggestion is find a little time to spend with just Allegra. Even if it's just running up to get an ice cream cone... just the two of you. You'll probably find a lot of comfort in that, or at least I did.

Maybe you even take that one on one time with ALL of your kids (6??? LOL) and each weekend have that alone time with just one of them. That's what I ended up doing and it made all the difference in the world.

Your kids sound delightful, by the way!!

Nohe 5

As my father is like to say, "You can't shove 10 pounds of manure into a 5 pound bag." That is what it sounds like you were trying to do today and it sounds to me like you did a pretty good job of it. How many parents out there would have stopped trying before their kids were even signed up for soccer let alone run around like a crazy person getting everyone where they needed to be and having taken their medication? So you weren't perfect. There is only one parent who is...God. The rest of us just need to keep doing our best and I would say that your best was pretty darn good this weekend.

lyns

as a mom of soon to be four these are the days that I can wait for!!! But you seemed to have handled it well... My mom used to tell me all the time that kids are adaptable and manage pretty well... it sounds like the "soccer" kids all seem to understand the "rules" about you not being able to be there for all game every game...

as a youth pastor... it sounds like Allegra was fighting you on taking her meds and then decided that since you were being so mean that she would just lash out at you in any way possible all b/c she's angry that she has asthma.... no worries... your a great mom...and you were doing what a mom needed to do... We've instilled in our oldest two that their "job" is to protect their younger brother and each other... this usually means not pushing and not touching eyes.... sometimes my oldest gets upset when I guard him....like not letting him jump off the "big" slide at the park... I tell him "its my job to protect you!!!" And that is what you were doing wiht Allegra... you were protecting her (not to mention saving yourself a trip to the ER!!) It sounds like you forgot about yourself all day simply b/c you love your kids!!! GO MOM... by the way congrats on the big 6-0!!! xo lyns

liz

You're right that you can't be all to all, but you can do what you did, which is to try to be there for all of them when they need you.

The ones who scored goals didn't need you to see it, they need you to be proud of them, and you are.

The one who didn't take her meds DID need you to do what you did, which is be the Mom. And you did a great job.

Big hugs and much love.

FishyGirl

Aw, Carmen, you do a great job. There's no way on God's green earth I could have managed half of what you did. At least you didn't forget anyone and leave them behind, which is probably what I would have done. And you fed them, which I might have forgotten to do, even if it was just hot dogs. Won't kill them to do that from time to time.

I know you know all this already; you also know Allegra's going to be acting that way more often then not for a little while. How many of us would go back to being 12 or 13 again if we had the chance? I know I wouldn't. Pretty much the worst years. And I am stubborn and headstrong and have to learn everything the hard way. I think I'm going to have the worst time when mine hit that age; finding the balance between stepping in and protecting them and stepping back and letting them make mistakes and learn for themselves why they need to do the thinks we want them to do is, I think, going to be the toughest part of being a parent.

Just know that whether we have 1 kid or 15, we've been there and sympathize. And we join you in the tears and mommy juice.

FishyGirl

thinGs, thinGs, not thinks we want them to do (though not a bad way to put it)

Sue Willneff

Carmen,
You are the most awesome mom. Whenever I am complaining about my ONE child, I stop and think of you and how amazing you are. Let yourself off the hook and take a breath. You children are well rounded and take the cues from them except Allegra until the demons are released from her body. HEHE. See you today at soccer. Sue

Tessa

Carmen--

Even with one child I feel like I miss so much. I work full time and during the week by the time we get home, get dinner cooked, get him fed and bathed... its time for bed. NO ONE can be all things for all people. You are doing a great job with them and FOR them. They know you're doing the best you can even if they are lil rebels sometimes. (I dunno about where you live but here there are some NASTY colds and stomach viruses going around and my kid gets pissy and mouthy just before he comes down sick...) Today will be better. (If its not add just a LITTLE extra Kaluah... heh)

Hugs

Tessa

Alicia

Where was your hubby during all of this? Mine would have at least had to clean out the car from the gas leak!

Amy

Hang in there! We all have days (weeks? months?) like that- but we are moms. We survive these things- somehow!!

we're here for ya!

Paige

Oh, the drama of the 12 year old girls. I'm so sorry that she was so terrible to you. We have some days that are like that--run here, run there, and that's just how it goes with multiple kids. If one of our kids scores a goal, we go out for lunch or dinner (as soon as we can work it into the schedule, that is).

Oh, and I got one of those Burt's Bees lipglosses in "Champagne". It looks kind of silver/white on my lips. It's now been relegated to a "Blend" lip gloss. It has to be worn over another color.

Hang in there, baby!

theotherbear

Wow, what a horrible day. No normal person would ever be able to fit all that in. I would have bawled (oh, and I too would have made my hubby clean out the car). I'm impressed you held it together. Oh, and now I desperately want hot dogs for lunch.

Rebekah

Sorry your day was so rough. Do you ever wonder if it's really worth it to run yourself ragged trying to get your kids from one activity to another? I know I've questioned it myself - just a thought....

Kate

Yes, where was your husband in all of this, woman?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erin

I'm sorry you had such a rough day. I second all the above comments (didn't read them all, but got the general supportive gist). You sound like a very together and involved mom who had a busy day. Enjoy the time you have off. It will be better when you come back to it.

rachel

wow - you are an amazing mama. every time I read your blog I'm more and more impressed.

I think Allegra's acting pretty normal for her age, and hopefully she'll get through this phase soon.

We all do the best with what we've got, and while it wasn't perfect, you got to spend the day with your kids - you weren't at work like your Hubster!

Beth

I really enjoy reading your blog, and I just had to comment on the "My new lip balm, the one I'd bought at the vitamin shop, the new Burt's Bees lifeguard balm, is apparently white, mostly zinc oxide, and I looked as if I'd bathed in diaper cream" part...I bought the exact same lip balm a few weeks ago, and was getting WEIRD looks out in public. It wasn't until I happened to pass a mirror shortly after putting the lip balm on one day that I discovered why. My lips were white- snow white. WHY would they make and sell lip balm that does that? What a waste of money :(

Anyway, keep up the great blogging. You're an awesome mom- I am the oldest of 7 kids myself :)

John

Thanks for the information.

The comments to this entry are closed.

My Photo

About Me

  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution who rarely sleeps and loves coffee and happens to have six outstanding awesome, incredibly loud and opinionated kids who are always right no matter what. Her passions include Zumba, hiking, photography, homeless ministry, reading, cooking, and spending time at the beach as often as possible. She's a college student studying to be a social worker who works as a Barista. State of mind? Tired, y'all.