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I've never doubted you were a professional writer. Just by saying what she did, Matilda unknowingly made herself obsolete.


People can be so rude! I have to wonder if her flippant response was because she is in fact envious of you. You have a great family, a great husband, a job you love that allows you the flexibility most only dream of. You write well and are obviously very talented in this area (as well as so many!) It's easy for us to sit here and say "don't let her get to you." Revel in what you CAN do so well and don't let her ignorance steal your joy.


Excellent post, so very true


The retort that comes to mind to "Matilda" is "Why do you do that to people?" Why does she have to be mean?


Alert to Matilda, jealous much?? Or maybe just a true mean girl?

Of course it's a "real" job - and you are one of my very favorite bloggers - your writing is clear, concise and to the point.

Any social media corporation would be blessed to have you - honestly.


I'm so sorry that someone minimalized what you do...and did so in front of other making you possibly feel somehow less-than for a moment. Please be sure that you know that in addition to the contributions your work has made financially for your family, you have made a huge contribution in my life by writing thoughts that I was thinking but too afraid to voice. It changed me...your words have helped through the years. And I doubt Matilda has made such a direct and positive impact at her. "real" job.


So sorry! It really hurts when people hurt our feelings and embarrass us.

Sonja Holzman

Tammy said exactly what I was thinking - I suspect this woman was jealous of you and so decided to try to make you feel small. Don't let her have that power over you. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Little does Miss Matilda probably realize that in her pathetic effort to put you down, she made herself look horribly stupid! I think you Rock!! :)


Ugh. I would have been speechless too. And for me, that would be one of those situations where I would pay $1000 to go back in time so that I could give all of the quick, witty responses that I thought about 2 hours later. Stinks and I am sorry, I just don't get mean people.

Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith

It has been my experience, that people that rude are on the defense. Matilda, consciously or unconsciously, must feel challenged by or jealous of the way you make a living. Maybe deep down inside she realizes that she is the stagecoach driver.


Matilda does sound particularly mean spirited. It's as though to make herself feel good about her lack of social experience she had to make you feel bad. Never you mind about that small minded woman. You are an inspiration. Not only for your weight loss, but your honesty and hard work and kindness.


Wow, Matilda must have a really low self image to feel the need to say what she said.

Becki did say it best ... so sad for them!


Forgive the language, but what a bitch! There's just no accounting for some people.
You are the whole reason I started reading ANY blogs... I saw your article in Real Simple and started following you. Now I read you and a half dozen others everyday. And those "not real" writers have informed me and prompted new directions in my thinking about everything from cloth diapering to gun ownership. I bet SHE has never been featured in a national and well respected publication.


Practice saying one of your comebacks, so if someone is rude enough in the future to tell you it is not a real job, you will be ready. Yesterday I had someone ask my friend (who is 36), if I was her mother (I am 50) and in front of me too. I just said - oh no you didn't, cause I am really mature (and my friend steered the conversation away). Anyway, people are rude and stick their feet in their mouths, and sometimes they need to be made aware of their rude behavior.


I would have sat there with my mouth open! Wow! I think she was just jealous. I hope you had a great trip otherwise!


I'm still not sure why she was such a bitch. Jealous or not, shut your pie hole, lady! ;)


What a b-i-t-c-h... There, I said it... But it's on social media so Matilda will never know what I called her ;)


The social media angle if HUGE. And while I'm no Internet novice I cannot wrap my brains around how to best use it for the independant retail shop I run. I keep trying but feel woefully inept at it and cannot carve enough time out of daily must do stuff to ever sit down and figure it out. Facebook....twitter....for square....and now pinterest? Are you kidding me? Now I know why one of the colleges my daughter visited is on the cutting edge by offering social media courses and how to interpret the data for business. Kids who get this and do it well could have a good future


You wonder if she was subconsciously channeling the latest political dust up regarding the comment made by a political strategist that Ann Romney doesn't have a "real job" - "never worked a day in her life". I think there is this undercurrent of envy in our society - it's envy about not having to do what somebody else has to do, and when you are the recipient of such envy, it's jarring and unsettling.
What this woman said to you, reflects more on her ignorance and prejudice, than the work that you do. Nobody should have to justify their existence or employment or non-employment (for that matter) to anyone.


As I wrote on one of your Facebook posts about another person's nasty comment: Let's stipulate, just for a moment, that this person's comment is correct (which I don't for a minute believe). Let's say that what you do is not a real job, not real work at all. Even if that were absolutely true, how mean do you have to be to say it?

Anyhow, I hope Matilda's career at the buggy-whip factory continues to bring her deep satisfaction for years to come.


I'd say she did more damage to herself than anyone; because I'm sure that the vast majority of the group that heard the comment thought "Huh? She said what?? What a b***h." But still, I have to sympathize; I've had people make one little comment, a totally untrue, unproven comment, and it stays with me for years. So even though she was WAY out of line, I understand your discomfort.


I just read this, having read the other post about the other comment first. Uh, wow. This woman has issues, and she has all the social skills of a 6th grade "mean girl." Not to mention she's obviously an idiot. (Hey, if she can judge, I'll judge right back.) My job is somewhat similar to yours, and I face this opinion (not quite so bluntly stated) from the higher ups, and it's really hard. One of my co-workers makes the same kind of comments and she's teasing, but even her teasing grates on my nerves. I feel ya.

J from Ireland

Wow fair play to you Carmen for not saying a word. I try my best to steer clear of these kind of people. Head up girl, you are a lovely genuine kind person.


Now, I agree that Matilda was very wrong in this conversation. "Just a little blog" indeed!! :/

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution who rarely sleeps and loves coffee and happens to have six outstanding awesome, incredibly loud and opinionated kids who are always right no matter what. Her passions include Zumba, hiking, photography, homeless ministry, reading, cooking, and spending time at the beach as often as possible. She's a college student studying to be a social worker who works as a Barista. State of mind? Tired, y'all.