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Comments

Emily

Just wanted to take the time to say that I don't comment often, but I'm a reader who has been here years and years, since before my own shorty was born (he's 5 1/2 now). I now have my own blog, and YOU are one of the big names to me, YOU are one of the people I aspire to be. YOU are the person whose posts told me "hey... maybe I have something to write about" and I would love to one day be able to tell my stories with as much humor, grace, and honesty as you tell yours.

So thank you, and please keep doing exactly what you do :-)

APal

All I can think to say is "YIKES!".

Kyooty/Mary

oh oh oh!!! yes please. I've never been to an "event", I want to meet you, and some others but I also want to be me. I write for me too. I love that you took your daughter.

Sarah B.

I could not even do that to myself. It shocks me every time that I get a single comment on my blog and every single time Blogger tells me I have followers. You and other folks who go to blogging events impress me. You rock!

Megan

Oooh! My name got mentioned in here! Probably you meant a different Megan, but still, cool.

You know what? There is something about all-women conferences that seem to set me up for the feeling you're describing. I've gone to lots of great conferences for work and met a lot of nice people and rarely walked away thinking someone was arrogant or someone I never wanted to hear from again. But I went to this all-women conference, and although it wasn't specifically about blogging, it was almost exactly as you described. Everyone seemed desperate to one-up each other. "You've got six kids and a full-time job? Well, let me tell you about my seven home-schooled children and their many talents, my full-time job, and my side Etsy project."

They gave four women awards basically for being extremely successful in multiple ways. And I talked to one of them afterward, and she was genuinely nice and humble, one of the few people I wanted to encounter again. But the whole day seemed to be a constant reminder of my own failures, that I didn't have a master's degree, wasn't raising high-achieving children while shining in a successful career, wasn't solving the world's problems in my "spare time." My own happiness and contentedness with myself seemed inadequate, like I should just instead constantly do more and strive for more.

Yeah...I hear ya. And I won't be going to that conference again. Keep writing the way you want to. Those of us who have read here for years don't think you need to change!

beth

I totally agree with Megan (the popular reader wink wink). When 2 or more are gathered, well watch out! Women tend to be backhanded competitive, not outwardly competitive like men. But remaining true to yourself is what counts in the end. It doesn't mean that you can't be progressive, that you can't improve your "numbers" or get more readers. It's just that you have to be comfortable with how and why. Love your blog!

Wendy

I don't blog, couldn't do it. I'm to fragile to put myself out there like that. I've been reading your blog for quite a few years now. I know I started while working for my last job, and I have been at my new job for over three years, so it's been probably almost four years. I'm very glad you want that connection, your writing wouldn't be the same if you didn't.

Ginger

I love your blog and it's the first one I read each day. I am old enough to be your grandmother but I get such a kick out of you and your day to day life. My daughter has 3 boys and a hectic life and I see lots of similar situations. You come forth as warm and really funny and a good mother and wife. Don't let anyone define you. Be Carmen and keep writing. Your blog is so honest and real!

Kira

Love this. I've never done the conferences, but I know the dynamic you're talking about, and I love the power you're showing here by just walking away from it.
Love it.

KG aka Susan

I second Kira (just walk away!), who I LOVE in a pathetic cyber stalky way. And whom I would never have found if it weren't for you.
And for the sake of this post (if I remember) I'm changing my name to SUSAN since whoever "Megan" is (if that's even her real name) totally ruined my "who the heck are Megan & Susan?" joke by commenting already lol
(you may need to explain to Megan that I am completely teasing here :)

Long comment longer: That's why we all keep coming back here, because more often than not you write the truth, the nitty gritty, tell it like it is, the way we all LIVE & instead of making us all feel like we're beneath you because we don't have six kids so we have it easy... you make us feel like we are all in this together. We're all trying to just make it through the day. Best we can. Failings and all, we know we are never alone and that's a nice feeling!

Love how quickly your tall shorty picked up on the BS & it was great seeing you & mini you this morning!

Glad you got away for a minute- GOOD TIMING!

Headless Mom

Yes to Kira and KG. I'm thrilled that we've become friends through our blogs but our real lives are more than the little we write about. Those "big girls" can have the sandbox. I'm happy to have the out of the way park bench with you. Xo

Katie

Long time reader, rare commenter. Just wanted to say this is perfect. I've never attended a blogger conference (was invited to a couple but I didn't want to do the logistic gymnastics to make attending possible) but I've read enough posts post-conference to figure out that they aren't for me. I think you handled this extremely well!

Gerrie Gould

Very well said. I remember when you first started your blog. I didn't even know what a blog was! Anyway, as I remember it, you started it as a kind of outlet; a sounding board of sorts. But it's turned into much more and as it evolved, so did you--in a positive way. The one point I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you had this revelation of sorts because in the end, you don't need anyones approval of how good you are--you just have to remember and BELIEVE that you are!!!

Issa

I'll be honest...BH in San Diego a few years ago was it for me. It was then that I realized I do not fit in whatever world that is and I'm done even trying. People were so over the top and if it weren't for the few roommates I already knew and loved and hung out with, I'd of probably gone home early.

It was my third and last conference.

Stephanie ODea

I don't like conferences for exactly what you describe.
I've met friends through the Internet --- but not one through a conference, they seem to bring out the worst in people.

Kait

I went to a very popular adoptive mom conference a few years ago and had an almost physical level of disgust with the people. It was like high school all over again and it was just awful - especially since it shouldn't have been a blog popularity contest but ultimately that's how it played out. I was so frustrated with the whole mess I completely reevaluated who was worth having free rent in my head. I realized I didn't want those people, who I thought I had such a connection with through our shared experience of family building, to be in my head when they were so different in person from their blog.

All that to say - I love your writing. I love the honesty and the balance of maintaining privacy for your kids. I love that you have found a way to pursue this and generate income but still have a solid, interesting blog. And mostly I love that you don't take yourself too seriously with all this. If I ran in to you at a conference I would not hesitate to come up to you and tell you how big of a fan I am. In the end, I think that's what blog writers should aim for but unfortunately that's rarely the case.

Susan

Hello again, Carmen and family,

I am so very glad you are the kind of blogger you are, truly! And your blog is a treasure to read, each and every time.

If your blog was what I call the "snobby" kind, your blog would not be such a joy to read - in other words, you keep it real, very real.

Don't know if I am indeed the Susan you mentioned, but sure enjoyed reading my name!

Take care of your wonderful self!

Brandy

Those other blogs? The ones written by women who feels so very self important are the ones. Stopped reading. But, I have been reading your blog for years now and will continue to do so because you are real. You care. And that's exactly what I like.

maggie

Yep, you are the first blog bookmarked here! And I'm happy that you continue to write what you do. You sound all "growed up". You know, recently I attended a teacher conference and I was so excited to be meeting a bunch of teacher bloggers who would be presenting. These are teachers that I'd been reading for years. I was disappointed. It seemed like everyone was trying desperately to get their attention and be seen . It wasn't for me at the end of the day. I think blogging successes go to peoples head and they forget the reasons as to why they start. So, I'm happy that you haven't forgot!!

Christal

The way you write, and reply is part of the reason I pop in to see what you've posted. Those other people? Way too commercial, I like prizes or giveaways, but honestly I prefer intelligent well articulated conversation. Unfortunately, sometimes after a long workday and a lot of homework, I can't do more than read. Every once in a while I made a point to reply because everyone needs feedback. You're doing it right. As long as it gives you more relief than anxiety then keep on (please).

Sylvia

I haven't read all of the comments but, and I'm sure I'm not alone, I think you're awesome. Also, IMHO, you're not a self-absorbed pretentious fuck. That is why I love you and your blog. Rock on.

Soni

Okay, I was trying to figure out how to express my reaction to this post and I've nailed it: What Sylvia said. ^^^^^

Karen Z

Bravo! I can't believe it has been 11 years already. Isn't it funny we don't look any older.

Patty

I love your blog and I have been reading it for years. I love how you are real and not perfect. I love that you have answered every comment I have ever made on your blog. I don't comment on any blog very often, but you are the only blogger who has ever replied to one of my comments. You are the blogger that I would want to meet if I ever had the chance. Thank you for your blog. Please keep at it!

sandy

I loved your daughter response!! ha. Even if they're not crazy all the time.....why put up with any of it!! Kudos to you. Write for us, the people who read you and appreciate you!!

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About Me

  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution who rarely sleeps and loves coffee and happens to have six outstanding awesome, incredibly loud and opinionated kids who are always right no matter what. Her passions include Zumba, hiking, photography, homeless ministry, reading, cooking, and spending time at the beach as often as possible. She's a college student studying to be a social worker who works as a Barista. State of mind? Tired, y'all.