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Carmen, I've been reading you for years and years, and honestly, you care too much what other people think. Don't worry about pleasing others. Let it go, and just be yourself. If other people don't like it, screw them! I've never met you in person, but I can tell that you are kind, generous, and funny. Virtual hugs to you!

M Rees

It's not bragging to share your successes and accomplishments. Maybe the person that claims your bragging is too caught up in their own failures to just give you a supportive high five and move on. Because a real friend would know you don't actually put yourself on a pedestal and would celebrate your success!


My dad is one of those people who complains about people bragging. He frequently mentions the Christmas letters my aunt sends - starting out "I call them BRAG letters." Well, of course they are! My aunt is a cheerful person and doing well despite some difficulties in her life. She doesn't leave out the difficulties, but she doesn't dwell on them. I would say the cheerful aspect is a big reason she always sees the positive! My dad ruminates on his troubles and minimizes the positive in his life. He would never, ever send a Christmas letter and is the master of the "humblebrag" where he complains about something most people would think of as good.

I say all of that as background so that I can say - be my aunt, and not my dad! Know that the people who complain about your bragging are responding more to what's within them than what's within you. Tell the truth, of course, but I've also read you for years and years and I think you do. Edit as needed for sanity and privacy, of course! As for don't be so hard on yourself - don't forget not to be hard on yourself about that, either! *picture smiling emoji here*

Jennifer Walker

I think about this to. But in my own therapy and work with my own "Sybill", I've come to realize that I have almost no control over my own feelings, -- reactions and actions, yes. But feelings? not so much -- so I absolutely have no control over anyone else's feelings -- despite my planning. And it was liberating. To not have to worry, monitor, fret, let my crazy brain get going about what someone else might think, do, feel?? I try to operate with truth and integrity and allow every one else be to do the same. It's not perfect and I slip all the time...but when I bring myself back to it, it works.
As an example, if I say "I'm a good step-mom" and that's all that I mean -- that at that moment I'm feeling good about my step-momming and someone else reads that as bragging -- then that's about them. That triggered something in them that has nothing to do with me. I didn't say they weren't a good step-mom, didn't say I was better, etc. If they heard something other than what I said, that's on them.
I'm rambling. But all that is to say...I try to speak with truth and integrity and give everyone else the gift of being responsible for their own truth and integrity.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution who rarely sleeps and loves coffee and happens to have six outstanding awesome kids. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she has learned more than she ever thought possible and knows less than she ever could imagine. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), rowing, sleeping, exploring coffee shops, homeless ministry, photography, and cooking.