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I think there's definitely a difference between being proud of a job well done, and having the type of pride that is a sin. Sinful pride suggests you're better than other people. Being proud of a job well done means acknowledging everything that went into it and feeling satisfaction at the effort and the outcome, even if neither was perfect.


I'm a looooong time reader, and what's the other person side of being proud of your work? I guess it would be to say I've *admired* it for just as long (in the non-covetous/sin way also, and not putting down what I did next to it - just always thought wow, there's a woman that gets. stuff. done.)


Job well done Carmen. Well earned pride in your accomplishments.


Kids need the active participation of two parents. Why keep having more and more children knowing your husband was an absentee father? I don't get it at all. And what kind of crazy job means you don't get home until 10 to midnight? And if for some insane reason that is the only job available to you, why would you also take time away from your family to volunteer at church? You know what they say--no one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they had spent more time at work--or at church, I'll add.Forget about the issue of pride. How about reorganizing your family life so your kids have a dad?


There's this sense in which caretaking is both a thankless job and one that everyone thinks they can do and knows better how to do than you (see above for evidence of this phenomenon). So one never gets any positive messages.

I've noticed this since becoming my father's caretaker after a stroke. I certainly am not getting praise from my father, who resents me as the embodiment of his increasing disability. My brother, who does a lot of supportive stuff, nonetheless thinks that my difficulties in the role could be solved by improving my performance, just zigging instead of zagging or whatever. I've been at it a year and I finally decided i needed some outside advice. The first thing the geriatric care manager said to me was, wow, you're doing a really good job. I sobbed. No one had said that. No one.

So: you're doing a good job. Hang in there!

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution who rarely sleeps and loves coffee and happens to have six outstanding awesome, incredibly loud and opinionated kids who are always right no matter what. Her passions include Zumba, hiking, photography, homeless ministry, reading, cooking, and spending time at the beach as often as possible. She's a college student studying to be a social worker who works as a Barista. State of mind? Tired, y'all.