Sleep is Ever Elusive

This face is brought to you by a 1 am bedtime, a 3 am migraine, 4 am meds, 6 am realization that sleep wasn’t going to happen, and and 8 am arrival at the beach. Where I slept.

I haven't had a true and serious, for realz, migraine in quite a while. I'd almost forgotten the joy. 

You know, I could do without. 

It’s not exactly a secret that I have trouble sleeping. I don’t sleep through the night, and haven’t for years. My mother told me that she thinks that so many years of interrupted sleep from babies has taken it’s toll and taught my body how not to sleep through the night, and she’s probably correct. I am a super, super light sleeper. One tiny noise or light can wake me and it takes more than an hour to go back to sleep. Yes, I've had a sleep study - I know I've talked about it here - and I practice good sleep hygiene, my talk about love for coffee notwithstanding, my caffeine intake is really small. Screen time is diminished at night, blue light yadda yadda, no television, no exercise close to bedtime, etc etc etc. 

All I know is that the only way I can sleep straight through is if I take medication, and I don't like to do that - unless I get to the point where the lack of sleep has tipped me into a different parallel. 

Last night was especially rough, and then to get a migraine on top of it, when I haven’t had a migraine in quite a while - well, it felt like a slap in the, well, head, haha. I took my migraine meds, which I hate to do, because they make me tired and worn out, but the alternative was wanting to hit my head with a shovel repeatedly, so from a bad choice to a worse choice, eh?

So I got up and went to the beach early. There was not one other soul around, which was glorious. The far from tourist beach is ideal for this.  I've been going to the beach an awful lot this summer. I usually bring my homework, but today, my brain just couldn't handle it, because on top of the migraine, I also have a bad tooth. I texted my dentist today - love her, she's so amazing - and it sounds like I might have cracked yet another tooth from grinding. (Yes, I wear a mouthguard, and I'm on a fiberglass one at this point because I have broken several regular ones. Go me.) I didn't bring my AirPods, because again, my head couldn't handle it, so I just 

went to the beach, got into the water up to my neck, floated for a while (and the thought briefly entered my head that I was alone on the beach and in the water and there was no one around and wasn't that just interesting....) and then laid out on my towel. I turned off my phone - completely, which I never do, but I just could not handle one more thing. One more notification, phone call, text, one more Where are you?, email, bing, noise at all

I stared into space for a long time and just

thought about completely and totally nothing. 

Eventually, I drifted off to sleep. Me being me, I only slept about 20 minutes, flipped over, and slept about another 20 minutes. Then I went back in the water, and repeated the process. 

The beach being the beach, salt and sand doing what it does best, after about two hours I felt somewhat better. I tried to take a couple of nice selfies and the wind kept blowing my hair into my face and I thought

you know what? That's what I look like right now, and I'm not messing with any more pictures. 

And so I didn't. 

Sometimes, your body makes you take a break. I just wish my body was a teeny tiny bit less radical about getting the message across. 

Comments

[Heather Bensel]

You look like a young Elizabeth Taylor. Gorgeous.

[Kelly]

I want My own private beach!! Cove, Hide away!!
You look maaahvelous!!!!